So, we'll start with the ticker below. I'M GOING TO VEGAS!!!! I've never been to Vegas. I'm excited. I'm going with a bunch of girlfriends. I think we're staying in the Planet Hollywood hotel and casino. We're planning on having a spa day, taking the stripper 101 class and taking in a few shows. I'm SO excited!!! It's only going to be a few days, but OH MY GOSH, I can't even tell you how excited I am about this! Have I mentioned that I'm excited? lol

Next is a brief update to my "It's been confirmed" post. I really must remember that men are different than women. I must remember that when a man says something, that's exactly what he means. There is no secret message, no hidden meaning, no saying something, expecting the other person to pick up on subtle nuances that tell what they really mean...they just mean what they say. I also must remember that my husband loves me and would never say something that is intended to hurt my feelings. I told Drake that he hurt my feelings and explained to him why. He gave me that, "Oh sweety...you're so cute when you overreact" look that I get all too often. LOL He explained that he didn't mean that Seth didn't want me at his party, just that he wouldn't expect me to drive four hours round trip for a birthday party. Then he said that he didn't mean that I was "Just a woman with six kids," he meant that our children is what most people fixate on because there are so many of them and that as soon as people find out we have six kids, that tends to be what defines us. He wasn't saying that's all I was, just that it's what people focus on when they first find out about our kids. He said that even at work, he'll be introduced to someone and the first thing they'll say is, "Oh, you're the guy with six kids!" not, "oh, I've heard you do good work," or "I hear you're working on an interesting project, how's that going?" it's always about his six kids. We just can't get away from it because our children DO define us and people will always find our large family interesting.

In some ways that was true at the party and in some ways it wasn't. People were interested when they found out I had six kids and it was all very positive reactions. However, they also seemed genuinely interested in me as a person as well, which is unusual and I really appreciated that. I had a great time! Seth has some amazing friends who were just incredibly friendly and made sure that I didn't feel uncomfortable. After the party, I went and hung out at Seth's apartment with him and his boyfriend for a bit, then drove home. Seth had asked if I could stay over and go out for breakfast with him the next morning, but Drake had to work early in the morning, so I couldn't. :( I'm so glad I went.

Last thought for this post...Ethan is quite the comedian. The other day, in the car, Ethan asked me where we were going for dinner on his birthday. (It's a family tradition to go to the restaurant of the child's choice on their birthday) I said, "I think you want dim sum on your birthday." He asked, "You mean Chuck E. Cheese's?" I said, "No, I mean dim sum." He replied, "If by dim sum you mean Chuck E. Cheese's, then yes!" It cracked me up. A little later, he said, "Mommy, look at this!" I said, "I can't sweety, I'm driving." Again, "Look at this!" "I can't, I'm driving!" "Look at this!" I CAN'T, I'M DRIVING!!!" He said, "I'm driving too!" To which I replied, "No you're not." He came back with, "Yes I am, I'm driving you crazy!" ROFL

Throughout this blog I've mentioned how I feel like I'm nothing more than a mom...that I've completely lost my identity. I've mentioned how I feel like I'm no longer "Katie," just a mom. Deep down I've always hoped that wasn't true. I've always hoped that I just wasn't feeling "fulfilled" or maybe I was just bored. Surely others viewed me as "Katie," right? Surely people like me as a person and see me as a person, right? Apparently not. If you can't rely on your spouse to tell you how it is, who can you rely on...I suppose. Apparently Drake failed to show up at husband school the day the"Do these jeans make my butt look big? and other things you should never speak truthfully of" lesson was taught.

I was invited to the birthday party of a friend of mine. I consider this friend one of my closest friends. We've been friends for over 18 years. However, our lives are nothing alike. They have taken completely different paths. I was telling Drake that while I wanted to attend the party, I was afraid I would be uncomfortable because I don't know any of his friends and they aren't the type of people I usually hang out with. We talked a bit about the reasons I wanted to go and the reasons I didn't want to go. Drake said, "You'll be among all the Hollywood types," (That's where he lives and where the party is...and the business he is in) "and you'll be the woman with six kids...just like you always are."

I just sat there...shocked that he would say that. I always knew that was how I felt, but I never knew for sure that it was true. I had really hoped that I was an interesting person. I had really hoped that when I went places with Drake that his friends thought of me as a friend as well. I had really hoped that people were genuinely interested in me as a person. Apparently not though. Apparently I really am just the woman with six kids. Not even my husband thinks I can be anything more than that.

Two separate thoughts I want to write about tonight. The first is that I bought entirely too many diapers. LOL I keep getting package after package after package in the mail. I think I should have kept track of what I was buying. I have more diapers than I know what to do with and still have eight more coming. Sadly, I didn't buy anywhere near enough covers, so I still have to buy some of those. I think I'm going to resell some of my diapers to make money to spend on covers. "Hi, my name is Katie and I'm a cloth diaper addict." I'll have to take a picture of my stash and post it once I have everything in. It's puuuuurty. I do so love getting mail. I may have a small crush on my postman. How can you NOT love the man who brings you packages? I also love my UPS lady. She makes me insanely happy. Hey, I'm a stay at home mom with no life...I must derive pleasure from the little things!

Okay, second topic...no segue or anything...very sad. Caitlin is trying to communicate with me!!!! She actually wants to talk about her life with me!!! She did it in a roundabout way, which is so totally Caitlin, but whatever...she wants me to be a part of it!!! When she got home from school today, she placed a little red purse on my computer desk, at which I was sitting. I swear I don't live in front of the computer...it just seems that way. (Oh, and by the way, I'm working on two new web sites...previews to come shortly :) ) Anyways, Caitlin places this purse on my desk and this is the conversation that ensued:

Caitlin: Don't read the stuff that's in that purse, okay?
Me: Then why did you put it on my desk?
Caitlin: It's just a place to put it. Don't read it.
Me: Okay, I won't.
Caitlin: Well, I guess you can read it if you really want to.
Me: Do you want me to read it?
Caitlin: No.
Me: Okay, I won't.
Caitlin: But if you really want to read it, I guess you can.

So, after she left, I opened the purse and read what was inside. It was love letters from a boy in her class and some drawings (I'm not sure if they were by her or him) of their initials in hearts. Too cute.

Looks like I get to go have a mommy/daughter conversation with her tonight. I remember fourth grade vividly. I remember having little "boyfriends." I remember how much it hurt, even at the age of 8 when things didn't go the way you thought they would. I remember the pangs of jealousy when he talked to another girl. It all starts way too early. I just can't believe she's already there.

We've already been over the "time line" when it comes to boys. No dating until you are 16. No boyfriends until you are 18. No marriage until you've graduated from college. No babies until you're married. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. The girls are okay with it...for now. Granted, they're only seven and eight. LOL