Katie's Random Ramblings

Oh where oh where has Katie gone?

2009-08-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

Long time no blog. Things have been super crazy around here. Elementary school went on break for the four oldest. Middle school began for the eldest. Middle school went on break. I spent three weeks in Sacramento with the younger four while Drake spent three weeks in Hawaii with the oldest two. (Gee, who got the better end of that deal?)Elementary school started for second child. Elementary school went on break for second child. All the while, we've had the fact that Drake interviewed for a job in Sacramento while eldest was in her two week session of middle school. Towards the end of our Sacramento/Hawaii vacation, Drake got word that he got the job. That left us deciding if he really wanted to take it and what it meant for us if he did and what it meant if he didn't. We had to make that decision while we were 2415 miles (give or take lol ) apart because the new job wanted an answer before we were back from vacation.

So, what was the decision? HE ACCEPTED!!! Whoa...talk about huge. Granted, it's not as though we're moving across the United States, but 496 miles (give or take lol That's the mileage allowance his new employer gave him, so I'm assuming they're right...or just trying to keep us under the 500 miles, at which point we'd be able to ship our car and fly up there and they'd pay for it. lol) Still, we're uprooting our children, taking them away from the only place they've really ever known, and moving clear across the state.

It's a good move for us. San Diego was always a temporary living situation. It was the first place Drake could find work after college, when we were being forced to leave family student housing and really had nowhere to go. It was always agreed that San Diego was a five year commitment, then we would move closer to my family. It's been six and a half years now. It's time. I need to be near my family. I need that support. Every year, I've applied for school, been accepted, sometimes even getting as far as registering for classes, only to have to withdraw at the last moment because Drake gets sucked into a new project that means long hours and not being able to commit to being home to watch the kids so I can take some classes. That won't happen this year. Drake will have regular work hours, so he can be home to watch the kids. If he can't, I have my mom, my three sisters, my sister in law and my brother, all available and willing to take my kids if I need them to at the last minute because Drake can't get home. Being away from family left me with the possibility of having a baby with no one there to support me. Drake had to go on a week long business trip when I was pregnant with Sera. He got back shortly before I was due. Thankfully, she went overdue. Had I gone into labor while he was gone, it would be just me, in labor, getting myself and four kids to the hospital. Not fun.

Not only will we have the support of my family (and I'll get to go out on DATES with my husband! We went out for dinner last Christmas and my family watched our kids, but that was the first time we had been out alone in six years) but my kids will get to grow up with their cousins. Growing up, I saw my cousins once a year. I wasn't close to them at all. They were people I was forced to interact with at Thanksgiving and it was really uncomfortable. I HATE the thought of that being how my kids feel. I am so close to my siblings. The thought of our kids not growing up together is heartbreaking. Caitlin is almost 11. For over half of her life, her cousins have been a once a year thing. I hate the "warming up" period that they go through when they get together. It makes me sad to see how close my sister's and my brother's children are and see my kids just off to the side because they haven't seen their cousins in a year.

Add to that the lower cost of living, the better schools (although I absolutely ADORE the elementary school my kids go to. I'm very sad to be leaving the school and the teachers who are so dedicated to the kids) and a safer neighborhood (not that my neighborhood is bad, but we did have three scooters stolen off of our front porch a month ago :( ) and it's just a good move all around. Caitlin is just going into sixth grade. I don't want to move her when she's older. I want her to feel like the next area we live in is "home." She won't feel that way if we wait much longer to move. If we move when she's in high school, I'm afraid San Diego will always feel like home to her.

Caitlin is upset because sixth grade is still in elementary school. (Well, that's just one of the LONG list of reasons that she's upset about moving) I think it's great, though. It will mean that all four kids are in the same school for their first year in a new school district. I like that they'll all have each other for support at school. I reminded her that it also means another promotion ceremony at the end of the year, which she's excited about. lol She's so sad to be leaving her friends, though. :(

Emma is upset about leaving her friends and leaving the school. She's having an easier time accepting the move than Caitlin is, though.

The younger four are just excited to be moving near my mom. They can't wait and are SO happy to be moving.

Drake was having a REALLY hard time accepting the job. It wasn't that he didn't want to move. It wasn't that he thought staying in San Diego was a better option. In his head, he realized that this was the best thing for us. It was a wonderful opportunity, both for our family and for his career. Why the hesitation then? He likes his job. He loves his coworkers. He has this amazing sense of loyalty, which I love him for...it makes for a good husband...but it made it really difficult for him because he felt like he was disappointing his coworkers and leaving them in quite a lurch because he's in the middle of a large project. He eventually realized that his sense of loyalty needed to be to his family and doing what was best for them. Things are "good" in San Diego. Life would be fine if we stayed. Things will be better in Sacramento. He realized he couldn't just settle for "good" for his family and that better was....well, better. lol

As for me, I was/am really excited about moving. I've found, however, that this has been harder on me than I thought it would. This has been our plan all along. I've been waiting to move near family...forever, it seems. San Diego has never felt like "home" to me. I thought I was just excited to move, that EVERYTHING about moving was a good thing, that it would be easy because this is what I've been wanting for a long time. Then, it actually started happening, and I started acting strangely. I've been on edge. I've been snapping at the kids. I've had such a short fuse lately. I thought maybe it was the money stress...trying to find the money for a new place and moving. I thought maybe it was the overwhelming thought of packing up and moving all of our stuff. Then, the kids had their last day of taekwondo. Drake took them to their classes. I went to pick them all up after class. My plan was to go in and say goodbye to their instructor and the parents that I had become friends with. I got there. I parked. I took the key out of the ignition. I sat there and cried. I couldn't go in. The thought of actually saying goodbye was too much for me. Here was something that had been a part of my children's lives for almost five years. That's more than half of Emma's life. Ethan was just barely one when we started taking the girls to taekwondo classes. Cole was two or three. The girls are black belts now. Cole would be earning his junior black belt next month. Their instructor and their friends from this class have been a constant in their lives for almost the entire time we've lived in San Diego. I didn't want to say goodbye. I was going to miss them. I felt like I was taking my children away from something and people they love. How can I do this?

I picked up Emma from school yesterday. It was her last day of summer session for the Academy. I saw her hugging her friends. I saw her saying goodbye to her teachers. How can I take them away from their school?

As of now, we don't have a place to live. Drake starts work on the 24th. We're going up there this weekend to look at a few houses that are up for rent. I think the plan, as of right now, is to rent a cheap one bedroom apartment for Drake really close to work. He's bringing his bike up with us this weekend, so if we can secure him an apartment, he'll ride his bike to and from work and continue to search for homes on the weekend with someone from my family. (We only have one car and I need it since I'm going to be the one with the kids) We'll stay here in San Diego until we can secure a place to live. Our lease here is up at the end of September, so we need to find something by then. So, the kids will be starting school here, then will probably be moving a couple of weeks after school starts. I had really hoped to be moved before school starts up where we're moving, but it starts Monday and it's just not possible.

So, anyways, that's the update from us. Kinda crazy, but very exciting.

A public apology and a public show of gratitude

2009-05-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a time where something makes you think back to something you did as a child, that makes you want to call one of your parents and apologize for something you didn't even think about back then, but you now realize was a pretty big deal?

My mom made my dress for my seventh grade graduation from elementary school. (My elementary school went through seventh grade.) I LOVED this dress. It was absolutely PERFECT. While my friends went to the Gunnysaks outlet in San Francisco to pick out their dresses, my mom MADE mine. I actually truly did appreciate it...even at the time. I hope that I expressed my gratitude for it back then because it really meant so much to me.

This made me want to make a dress for Caitlin's graduation. I have been working on it for MONTHS. From picking out the perfect pattern, to going from store to store to store, trying to find the perfect fabric that I knew she would absolutely LOVE. Finally, I had the pattern and the material. The pattern didn't come in her size, so I spent quite a while transferring the pattern to different paper, making the proportions right, making sure it would all fit together and fit her. I cut out the fabric...the outer, the lining, the underskirt, etc. For WEEKS, I've been staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning, cutting, sewing, ripping seams, sewing again, all to make it perfect. This has all done without her knowledge because I just KNEW she was going to love it and I wanted it to be a surprise.

Graduation is Wednesday. She came to me today, frantic because we HAD to go to the mall to buy her a dress for graduation because graduation is NEXT WEEK and she just HAS to find the perfect dress, and she can't believe we've been putting it off for so long because now she probably won't be able to find the PERFECT dress. I told her not to worry, that I have been making her dress without her knowing, so she HAS a dress and I know she's just going to love it. Her response? "I want to buy a dress. I hope you don't mind," then she just walked away. "I hope you don't mind." Of course I don't mind. That doesn't make it any less heartbreaking. Here, I thought I was doing something that she would love. SO much thought, time, energy and love has gone into this dress, and without even looking at it, she dismisses it and says she doesn't want it.

As I sat in my bedroom, holding her dress, crying because I was so disappointed, I thought back to how many times I must have done this to my own mom, without even realizing it. I thought about the quillow that she made me. It was SO perfect for me. The front was made out of a music themed fabric. The back was stitched to the front in the design of a treble clef, and other musical symbols. I don't think I appreciated it back then as much as I do now. SO much time, thought, love and effort must have gone into that quillow and I probably gave her no more than a "Thanks, Mom!" and it probably didn't sound very sincere.

One year (1992, so I was 13) I decided I was going to make a quilt as my Young Women's in Excellence project. I made a quilt made out of 6"x6" jean squares. I cut out all of the squares, arranged them how I wanted the quilt made, sewed all the squares together. This took FOREVER. The night before I was supposed to be finished, I was so tired that I just couldn't finish. I still had to add the batting, sew on the back, then tie it up. I didn't even know HOW to put a back on a quilt. I went to bed, disappointed because I wasn't going to be able to finish because it was so late and I was so tired. I woke up in the morning, to the quilt completely finished, only needing me to tie it up. I don't even know if I said thank you. I didn't think about how late my mom must have stayed up, if she even went to bed that night, finishing MY project for me because she knew how badly I wanted to display it that next night. I remember thinking it was nice that my mom did that for me, but I didn't realize just how big of a deal it was and how hard she must have worked that night to do that for me.

One Christmas, I was really hoping for money as my big gift. When I got my big gift, I could tell it wasn't money. It was a box that held something. I opened it up, and in it was this: (Well, something similar to it...I don't have a picture of the exact one)

I was disappointed. I really wanted money. I'm sure the disappointment showed on my face and could be heard in my voice. What a spoiled little brat! I know my mom must have spent so much time thinking of the perfect gift for me. I had been taking German classes in school for years and I LOVED that class. Honestly, it WAS the perfect gift for me. I just didn't know it at the time. I still have that carousel. I put it up in my house every Christmas. It is the best gift I have ever received. Not only does it remind me of a class I loved so much, but it reminds me of just how well my mom knew me and that, even when I was being a self centered brat, my mom loved me and did so much to make me happy.

When I was 18, I called my mom and told her I was pregnant, was getting kicked out of college, and was going to get married. I know I broke her heart. For the next few months, she did her best to talk me out of getting married. She wanted so much more for me. She wanted me to finish college. She wanted me to live life more. She wanted me to at least wait until I knew this boy better. I wasn't hearing any of it. I loved him. I was pregnant. I was getting married...end of story. Even though I made her so angry/hurt/sad, when I asked her if she would make my wedding dress for me, without hesitation, she said she would. I found a pattern that was a little like the dress I wanted, gave it to her and told her, "This is kinda what I want, but I want the sleeves to look like this, the bodice to look like this," etc. etc. etc. She was angry with me. She was sad for me. Yet, she took my ideas and made the wedding dress I had been dreaming of. It was perfect. I know that had to have been hard for her. Not only because she basically had to create this dress from scratch, but because she knew she was making this dress for a wedding she didn't want to happen. She did it, though, and it was perfect...because she loves me. I know I didn't appreciate how difficult it must have been to make that dress for me. To me, she knew how to sew. She had made my seventh grade graduation dress. She had made my Senior Ball gown (yet another thing I probably wasn't anywhere near as appreciate of as I should have been). So, to me, it wasn't that big of a deal for my mom to make my wedding dress. It was, though, and I know that now. I just wish I had realized it then and been as appreciate as I should have been.

So, Mom, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for all of the times you put so much effort into doing something for me, only to have me not appreciate it. Thank you so much for doing all of those things that I remember and appreciate so much more now than I did back then. Thank you for all of the things you did that went completely unnoticed, but made my childhood one that I look back on and wonder how on earth I'm possibly going to be as good of a mom as you are.

Sometimes they do things...

2009-05-27T08:19:00.000-07:00

that make you realize that they're not quite as smart as you had originally thought.

So, I swear, EVERY mother thinks their child is gifted. Super smart. Better than your average bear. EVERY mother, at one point or another, has said, "Wow, would you look at that! Other kids their age aren't doing that yet, s/he must be GIFTED." I have six children. I know not every child is gifted. Some children excel in one thing or another. Some excel in many things. Some are average, but have their moments. However, I can almost guarantee you that every mother has thought their child might be gifted at one point in another. Now, this is no slight to mothers who actually have gifted children, so don't fill my comment box (you know, all you millions of readers out there who diligently follow my blog) with comments about how your child really IS gifted. I'm sure they are! (That came out sounding a LOT more patronizing than I meant for it to...I'm actually being sincere.) I've met some very gifted children. I'm not talking about the moms of those kids. :) These are just some of my observations from interacting with a variety of different mothers everyday on the message board I help run, and out here in the "real world."

I try not to be one of those moms. You know the ones. They're the ones that, when they're child rolls over at 2 months, 29 days instead of 3 months, exclaim to anyone that can hear that their child is GIFTED! Gifted, I tell ya! However, I have found myself, more and more thinking like one of those moms. Allie is almost 2. She has been talking since she was about 5 months old. She's been talking in full sentences since before she turned 1. Those thoughts...those thoughts that I mock so much...those, "My child is GIFTED!!!! Gifted, I tell ya!!!" thoughts started creeping in. A few weeks ago, when she sang along to Miley Cyrus' "Hoedown Throw Down," they started creeping in a little bit more. A couple of days ago when she started going upstairs and I asked her where she was going and she responded, "I'm checking on Daddy," then when she came downstairs and exclaimed, "I couldn't find him!" those thoughts came creeping up.

Yesterday, my beautiful, spunky, wonderful, GIFTED Allie walked up to me, said, "My arm hurts!"...and grabbed her leg. Ahhhh, yes. Whenever I find myself becoming one of those moms I like to mock, my child brings me right back down to earth.

Knitting Bags

2009-02-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

So, I don't know if I mentioned before, but my older girls are in a knitting club at school. They are LOVING this. I'm a bad mommy and haven't taught them how to knit. I figure that they learn to talk/walk/whatever through being immersed in it and not actually having to be taught (by the way, this is the same approach I take to potty training. I don't train them to do it...they just figure it out on their own eventually) that the same might apply to knitting. They see me do it everyday...they should eventually just pick it up, right? Okay, so really, I'm just a terrible teacher, with very little patience. I do believe they would have eventually picked it up on their own, though.

So, they're knitting! Not only that, but they're LOVING it!!! (Did I ever doubt that they would? Who doesn't love knitting?) Apparently, the past couple of days that the club was supposed to meet on, the principal (who is running the club) had meetings, so she couldn't run the club those days. Well, instead of just running off to recess like other kids would, my girls got went into the classroom that kids can go during recess to play games or whatever, sat down on the couch there, and just knit away. Not only that, but they brought yarn to donate to the club and used it to teach their friends to knit!

So, anyways, we were in Target yesterday and the girls told me they need knitting bags. Apparently they were getting tired of carrying their yarn and needles to school in grocery sacks. lol So, they looked around at all of the handbags and they both settled on the exact same purse, in the exact same color.

It's large enough to carry their yarn, needles, and has a pocket that can hold accessories. They LOVE them. They are going to the movies today and I had to tell them that they couldn't bring their knitting bags to the movies and knit while they watched. I know, I know, I probably should let them, but they're not to the point now where they can pay attention to something else while they knit and I don't want them to miss the movie!

I was Kinneared!

2009-02-06T22:54:00.001-08:00

So, I was sitting there at my girls taekwondo class tonight, happily knitting away on a pair of baby booties, when all of a sudden, I hear the "click" of a camera phone. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the approximately 8 year old girl, who I know has been watching me knit, phone in hand, looking away so as not to look as though she just took a picture of me knitting. lol The phone, still pointed towards my hands, was a bit of a give away. I'm thinking of bringing along a set of extra needles and some yarn next week and asking her if she'd like to learn to knit. She sits there during the two classes that I sit through because her parents are in the classes. She usually brings along whatever crocheted thing she is working on, but she didn't have it today, so she just sat and watched me knit. Too cute.

Wow, it's been a while

2008-12-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

Doesn't it seem like every time I post, there is a similar title? Crazy, crazy, crazy. That's what it's been like around here. You'd think that with so much going on, I'd have something to post about, wouldn't you? Well, sadly, I really don't. It's really just been a whirlwind of school, friends, activities, etc. I did get around to writing a Christmas letter this year and will post it when it gets the final approval from Drake.

Drake is currently in Boston. Well, I take that back. Drake is currently flying over the United States somewhere between Nashville and Phoenix. He has been in Boston the past few days for work and is flying home tonight...supposedly. His first flight ended up being diverted to Nashville and now it isn't getting into Phoenix until after his connecting flight has already left, so I have no idea what he's going to do. He may be stuck in Phoenix tonight, which really sucks, because I really wanted him home. It has been a while since he last traveled for work. I'm not used to it anymore, and I miss him. Not that I didn't miss him when he was traveling a lot, but at least then, I was used to it. Now, I'm not and my stress levels are through the roof. It doesn't help that it has been raining, which means the kids haven't been getting outside to play at school, so they're all antsy when they get home, and then are stuck inside at home as well. Not fun at all. They're driving me absolutely UP THE STINKIN' WALL!!!!

Cole recently had a chalazion removed from his lower eyelid. It had been causing some trouble for him, so we decided to have it removed. He came through the procedure remarkably well and can't even tell that anything happened now, except that his eye doesn't bother him! Yay!

Caitlin had her first band concert the other day. She did brilliantly!

I made an unrealistic knitting list for Christmas and have yet to decide who can do without this year, so in the meantime, I'm just knitting away like crazy during all my free time...because, you know...there is oh so much of it.

We leave to go up to my mom's house on Sunday! The kids are SO excited! They have a paper chain that doesn't count down to Christmas...it counts down to Grandma's house. lol They're cute.

Tagged

2008-11-06T19:58:00.000-08:00

So, Adelaide tagged me a while ago, but I wasn't fully online yet, but I'm here now and going to do it!

10 years ago...1998
Five Things I was doing 10 years ago:

1. I was going to college in Rexburg, ID
2. I was getting kicked out of college
3. I was getting married
4. I was pregnant and then having Caitlin
5. I was moving to Santa Cruz, CA so my husband could go to UCSC

Five Things on my to-do list today:

1. Put the seats and carseats back in the car
2. Do four loads of laundry
3. Scrub the kitchen floor
4. Take Cole to his opthamology appointment
5. Get some Christmas knitting done

Five snacks I like:

1. Ben and Jerry's peach cobbler ice cream
2. Home made guacamole with hint of lime tortilla chips
3. Pineapple
4. Thai young coconut
5. Orange juice

Five Things I would do if I was a millionaire:

1. Buy a home near my family
2. Visit family in Hawaii
3. Go on a cruise with Tracey
4. Buy a Prius
5. Put money in my children's college funds
(Not in that order, though)

Five Places I’ve Lived in (for various lengths of time):

1. Fremont, CA
2. San Lorenzo, CA
3. Rexburg, ID
4. Mountain View, CA
5. Santa Cruz, CA

Five Jobs I have had:

1. Ice cream scooper at Baskin Robbins
2. Customer Service Representative at Hollywood Video
3. Day care worker at 24 Hour Fitness
4.
5.

It's been a while

2008-11-06T11:35:00.000-08:00

Yes, I realize it has been AGES since I last updated this thing! Things have been crazy hectic around here. I have four in school, with two different drop off times and four different pick up times. We moved. The kids have been sick. It's all just crazy. Would you believe I haven't even picked up any knitting in over a month? So sad. I have SO much Christmas knitting I've been planning, but have started on almost none of it, which means I'm going to have to pick and choose what I'm actually going to do. I'm okay with that though because I know that other than my mom and my husband, no one will really appreciate just how much time and effort go into a hand knitted object. (Just ask my husband, who has been patiently waiting for his second sock for almost six months! lol) There is no way I'm going to finish Drake's Christmas present on time...especially since I haven't found the perfect yarn for it yet.

Is it pointless to knit something for someone that you know they will probably never wear? I want to knit Ice Queen for my mom. I think it would look incredible on her. However, it's SO not something she would wear! Also, I have the yarn, and it's fairly scratchy. Even if she would wear it, I'm not sure she'd be able to handle it on her neck! I certainly wouldn't. However, I think it's gorgeous and while it may not be something she'd wear, I think it is something she would appreciate for the effort it took me to make it and it's beauty. But, I feel strange giving a gift I don't think the recipient will ever use. However, I really think that's going to be her gift because it's telling me that it wants to be.

The kids are all doing well. Caitlin ran for school president. She lost in the primaries, but I think it's wonderful that she ran. She's having some difficulties with friends. I'm hoping that it will pass now that the actual elections are over. She was very vocal about her hope that prop 8 would fail. Her friends, being the good Christians that they are, basically told her that God hates gays and that she's going to hell for not wanting prop 8 to pass. Not only that, but we must not forget that Obama wants to rewrite the constitution and kill babies and that she's just as bad because she wanted him to win. Thankfully, she is a strong, opinionated little girl who doesn't falter in what she believes just because others don't agree with her. She told me that her friends are allowed their opinions, just like she's allowed hers and she doesn't believe the government should make laws based on the Bible because not everyone believes in the Bible and that the government should make laws based on what is fair and right. I'm incredibly proud of my little girl.

Emma is also doing very well. She was chosen, along with a friend of hers, to be class representatives in the Student Council. She LOVES this. She looks forward to every meeting and takes it very seriously. She loves being involved in school and takes a great deal of pride in her responsibilities. She recently had 16 inches of hair cut off to donate to Locks of Love. This was SUCH a huge deal for her. She has had long hair for as long as I can remember and she LOVED her hair, but she just decided that it was the right thing to do. She looks adorable with her new hair cut and she LOVES it! She also loves how easy it is to take care of and how it has cut her showers down by about ten minutes. lol

Cole is Cole. He amazes me every single day with his academic abilities. In school this year, the younger kids are taking a test that usually only the older kids take. It's called the MAPs test. It stands for "Measure of Academic Progress." It basically allows the teachers to see where the student is, if they're progressing at the rate they want them to, etc. It's taken on a laptop and is dynamic in that when you get an answer correct, the next question is a bit more difficult. If you get it wrong, the next question is a bit easier. This allows them to really see where you are at, academically. I spoke with Cole's teacher about his results and she said that he got the highest score possible on the test. For the older kids, you just keep going and going until the test decides it has determined where you are at academically, just getting harder and harder until it decides you're at the right level. Unlike the older kids though, the younger kids test has a ceiling. Cole hit that ceiling on the math portion. He scored the highest in his class in both math and reading. Ooh, speaking of reading...he's reading the same book that my girls are! They're all reading "Twilight," by Stephanie Myers. (I think that's how you spell the author's name, anyways.) Caitlin isn't all that interested, but Cole and Emma are both really enjoying it. I thought it was a bit too advanced for Cole...especially being 500 pages long, but he's really enjoying it and actually "getting" it. I talk to him about each chapter after he finishes it to make sure he understood what he read and he definitely does!

Ethan is such a fun kid. He's LOVING school. He's doing really well in math. He was Superman for Halloween and LOVED it. He loves super heroes. He absolutely adores his teacher. I just wish he was a bit more organized. That's definitely something we need to work on with him! He's always SO happy, which makes life easy for me!

Sera is getting better about Ethan being at school. Every once in a while she'll still ask if we can go pick her best friend up from school, but those days are getting fewer and further between. She's had some awful night terrors lately, which is so sad. :( She wakes up just screaming and sobbing. Drake has taken to sleeping with her, so we're hoping that helps. She's such a huge help with Allie. She absolutely adores her baby sister and loves that Allie calls her "Sissy."

Allie is...well, Allie. She's...trying. I love her. She is so much fun when she's in a good mood, but she's almost never in a good mood. She screams, she hits, she scratches, she bites. If she doesn't want you near her, she lets you know, and she almost never wants you near her. She's just plain mean to Sera, which is so difficult to see because Sera loves her so much. My one saving grace, at the moment, is that she is REALLY good at going to bed. lol When she gets tired, she just starts climbing up the stairs saying, "Bye, bye!" and walks into her room and stands by her crib until I come in there to put her in and she always goes right to sleep. It's SO nice! lol She really is cute and cuddly when she's in the mood to be, though. She's taken a liking to stuffed animals lately, which is really cute. She carries her monkey, Yim, around with her everywhere. Occasionally she will give you kisses, and tell herself, "That's so nice..." because that's what we always say when she gives hugs and kisses because she rarely does it. She usually hits you in the face if you try to give her a kiss. She's talking up a storm. She has names for each of us, she can tell me when she has a dirty diaper, and her favorite word is "NO!" She can also use sign language to tell me when she's hungry or thirsty...which she always seems to be. lol

So, that's our update!

Oh, good grief!

2008-08-05T18:22:00.001-07:00

Sorry I've been MIA lately. Life has sorta taken over and left me very limited time online these days. Today though, I just had to post about my quirky, funny daughter.

While surfing the internet today, Caitlin apparently came across the PETA website. After watching some videos on the site, she declared that she is now vegan. So, apparently I'm no longer allowed to make her meat sandwiches for lunch, no longer allowed to feed her anything with cheese or eggs in it, and "oh yeah, for my birthday in September, I'm going to need you to make 66 vegan cookies for school." She also sent me an ecard that said, "Somebunny loves you..." "Because you don't wear her fur." LOL

She's writing an autobiographical speech for school. Part of the speech is about, "If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?" She said, "If I could go anywhere in the world, I would go to London, England because I hear they have wonderful shoes there. That child. I love her.

Birthday, dancing, TKD, etc.

2008-06-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

My little AllieGayle is ONE!!!! Can you believe it? She turned one on Wednesday, and me, being the bad mommy I am, didn't blog about it. Oh well. Here is my little princess, enjoying some Jamba Juice for her birthday celebration!

Cole started jazz dance classes on Thursday! He absolutely LOVES it!!! He really got the dancing bug at Louis and Melissa's wedding, then after watching a few episodes of "So You Think You Can Dance," he was hooked! I'm only allowed to watch the last five minutes of the class, but he was SO cute! He's the only boy in the class, but he doesn't care...he just wants to dance! Bad mommy...I forgot my camera. I'll remember it next week though!

The girls both earned their junior black belts a couple Saturdays back. I'm so incredibly proud of them! Just one more year and they should have their solid black belts...crazy! They're way too little! When did my girls go and grow up on me?

Ethan finally started tae kwon do. He has been begging to start for years, but he's finally old enough. (Well, will be in a couple of weeks anyways lol) He's having SUCH a great time! Today he earned his white belt. You can purchase a white belt with your gi, but Ethan knew that the teacher had two that he gives out to those in the class he really felt earned them. Ethan told us he didn't want us to buy him one, that he wanted to earn it from the teacher and today, he did just that! He's awesome.

Goodbye school, Hello Summer!

2008-06-16T12:19:00.000-07:00

So, school ended this past Thursday. The kids got their report cards. They're geniuses, which we all knew already. ;) With summer comes a slew of new activities. The five older kids are going to be taking swim lessons, Cole is starting jazz dance classes, the four older kids are all doing tae kwon do, we're thinking of signing Ethan up for hockey, Caitlin is taking saxophone lessons, Emma is thinking about taking ballet, Caitlin is going to be going to a math tutor, and all six of them expect to go to the pool almost daily. Whew...makes me tired just thinking about it. Oh, we must not forget the fair that is going on for the next couple of weeks. We're planning on going at least five times. We're giving that economic stimulus check a good workout. lol

I'm excited to spend some time out in the sun, hopefully knitting away while my kids get their wiggles out and hopefully allow me a nice, peaceful evening since they'll be so tired from all of their daily activities. A girl can dream, right? My biggest concern is Allie. She's not very fond of just sitting there, doing nothing. She likes to get up and go. She has free reign (at least she seems to think so) of the house during the day and she makes good use of it. She's already figured out how to crawl out of her crib, crawl over any gate we put up and get into anything and everything. She's really quite amazing to watch. All this and she can't even walk yet! I'm in trouble! So, I'm going to have to figure out what to do with her during all of these lessons. She's going to be terribly bored and I can't exactly just let her crawl around on the concrete. We'll see, I guess.

Healthy Eating

2008-06-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

I told my kids they won't be eating candy anymore. They were upset, but they are okay with it. I told them they won't be eating fast food anymore. They were upset, but they are okay with it. I told them we can't go to Wings 'n' Things anymore. This was the response I got:

P.S. I don't know why the sound isn't working. He has the cutest sad cry. lol

Kids say the darndest things

2008-06-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

Cole came home from school today with a little booklet he had made about insects. Each page said something like, "I am black and yellow. I am a ____." So, he decided to quiz Ethan in the car.

Cole: I am black and yellow, I am a ....
Ethan: BEE!
Cole: Good job! I am green and I hop. I am a ...
Ethan: Mosquito?
Cole: Mosquitos aren't green and they fly. They don't hop. What is green like the grass and hops?
Ethan: A bug?
Cole: Yes, it's a bug but..
Ethan: YAY, I got it!
Cole: You didn't let me finish! It's a bug, but what kind of bug?
Ethan: Mosquito?
Cole: *sighs* Let's do the next one. I am beautiful and I like flowers. I am a...
Ethan: SNAIL!!!!!!!
Cole: Snails aren't beautiful
Ethan: Yes they are.
Cole: No they aren't.
Ethan: Yes they are

and on and on and on until Cole gives in and tells him it's a butterfly.

Cole: I am red and have black spots. I am a...
Ethan: A bug?
Cole: Not again! What kind of bug?
Ethan: A butterfly?
Cole: That was the last one. It's not a man bug, it's a ...
Ethan: I don't know.
Cole: What do men like?
Ethan: FOOD!!!!

Oh man...my boys crack me up.

Random thinking

2008-05-24T23:01:00.001-07:00

Do you ever start thinking about something, then it leads you to thinking about something else, which leads you to thinking about something else, which leads you...well, you get the idea.

Tonight, as I was driving home, I randomly started thinking about knots. Why was I thinking about knots? I have no idea. It was just a bizarre, random thought that popped into my head. I started thinking that other than your usual granny "knot," I really only know how to tie one other knot. That is the knot you use to tie a hook to a fishing line. Then, I started wondering how many girls actually know how to properly tie a hook to a fishing line, and started thinking about how my kids have never been fishing. Now, I realize, a lot of people have probably never been fishing, but if you grew up like I did, not knowing how to fish is VERY strange. You see, my dad was an outdoorsman. He loved camping, hiking, hunting, fishing, etc. We used to camp...a lot. It was a running joke in my family that all you needed was a river and you had the perfect camping spot. At least, that was my dad's idea. Thankfully, Mom eventually convinced him that while she loved that he loved camping so much, she really needed showers and a toilet. Yes, we used to do that kind of camping. Pull over on the side of the road, in the middle of the forest, pop up a tent, pull out the fishing poles, and we were camping. No toilets for miles.

So, anyways...I was thinking about this knot that I knew how to tie, and remembered the evening my dad taught me how to tie a hook to a fishing pole. Up until then, he had always gotten my pole ready. All I had to do was stick the bait on, cast it, and reel in the fish. However, the next day, I was going on a field trip. We were told that if we wanted to, we could fish off of the pier at the place we were going on the field trip. I wanted to catch a shark. I thought that would be beyond cool. Up until then, I had really only fished in lakes and rivers. Fishing in the ocean off of a pier...way cool. So, my dad pulled out my fishing pole that night, taught me how to put the pole together, put the reel on, string it up, hook on the weights, attach the hook, and then how to take it all apart again. The next day, I was ready to go...the only kid that brought a fishing pole. I didn't care. I was going to catch a shark and come home to tell my dad how cool it was and how I did it all by myself. I didn't catch a shark that day. I didn't catch anything. I DID, however, see someone else catch a small shark and got to help him take it off of his hook, which was pretty darn cool.

All this thought of that day, made me start thinking about the day my dad took me to buy my first fishing pole. It was my birthday. I was SO stinking excited. I was getting MY OWN PERSONAL FISHING POLE!!!!! It was something I had wanted for a long time. It was something none of my siblings had. It was something that was special...that Dad and I were going to go out together and pick out and buy for me. So stinking cool. It's strange, how even now, the memory of that night is as clear as though it had happened just yesterday. He took me to Tri City Sporting Goods and we looked at poles. We took them down, we thrashed them about, seeing if they were flexible enough, he showed me how to grab the top and bottom and make sure it could bend because if if didn't bend well, it could snap at the weight of a fish (yeah, because I was going to be catching fish big enough to snap a pole! LOL) We finally found it...the perfect pole. It was sleek. It was black. It was going to be mine...all mine. We found the perfect reel. It matched the pole. It was awesome. We took the reel to the counter to get fishing line put on it. The man asked my dad what pound test he wanted for my pole. Dad asked me what the biggest fish I thought I was going to catch with that pole was. I told him I had no idea and asked him what he thought. He told me I probably wouldn't find a fish bigger than 8 pounds where I'd be fishing with that pole. So, Dad asked for a 15 pound test. "Why?" I asked, figuring if I wasn't going to catch a fish larger than 8 pounds, I only needed an 8 pound test line. Dad laughed and explained that he has seen me fish and I tend to get the hook caught on the tulies more often than I catch a fish and he didn't want me losing my lures in the tulies, so he was going to get me a heavier line so the line wouldn't break when I tried to get free of them. So, the man at the counter filled my reel with 15 pound test, Dad paid for everything, and we went home. That was honestly one of the happiest days of my life. Growing up with a lot of siblings, there weren't that many times that we were able to go out with just my mom or dad and no other kids along. This was a special night. It was Dad and me doing something together that we both enjoyed. It was perfect.

Of course, all of this led to me thinking about my dad. I have so many wonderful memories with him. Oddly (or maybe not so oddly) enough, the majority of them involve fishing. lol I miss him. I miss him a lot. The grief hits me at the oddest times...like when I'm driving down the road, thinking about knots.

One year ago today

2008-05-19T15:46:00.000-07:00

One year ago today, my family was forever changed. One year ago today, too many people learned the hard way that life is too short to not hold the ones you love close. One year ago today, my little brother, Isaac, was shot and killed. As far as I know, the police are no closer to finding who did this to him than they were a year ago. So many people claim to know what happened, why it happened, and who did it, but no one talks to the police. It's frustrating.

I didn't learn of his murder until one year ago, tomorrow. One year ago, tomorrow, we were celebrating my daughter's second birthday. One year ago, tomorrow, Sera was playing with her birthday gifts when my mom called me. One year ago, tomorrow, my mom told me that she had really bad news and that my little brother had been shot and killed. One year ago tomorrow, I felt sorrow that I hadn't felt since my dad had passed away. Only this time, it was coupled with guilt...the guilt of not being the best sister I could have been; the guilt of not telling him enough how much I loved him; the guilt of letting him draw away from the family and not fighting harder to keep him close; the guilt of not knowing if he died, not knowing how much I loved him. I should have done more. I should have been there the few times he did reach out to the family. I should have been a better sister, and now it's too late. I can't be that for him. I miss him.

Beach/Wedding Weekend

2008-05-12T15:26:00.003-07:00

This past weekend, my little brother, Louis, got married! He and Melissa have been dating for about eight years now, so really, marriage was just a formality...Melissa has been a part of the family for a long time now.

My mom, sister and I (and our respective families) rented a house literally just steps from the beach for the weekend. It was beautiful. My family left Thursday afternoon to make the five hour drive to Oceano. About an hour and a half in, we realized that we had forgotten Ethan's tuxedo and Drake's clothes in our wardrobe at home! Drake's clothes, we could replace when we got up there, but Ethan's tux (he was the ring bearer) wouldn't be so easily replaced! So, much to my dismay, we had to turn around, drive home, then start the journey all over again! We got up there around 1 in the morning on Friday. When we woke up that morning, Drake took the kids to the beach while I hung out at the house with AllieGayle. Later that evening was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. The dinner was at Del's Pizzaria and I had their rosemary chicken provolone ravioli with pesto sauce. It was SO good! Saturday, the wedding was held at the Avila Beach Resort. The weather was perfect and everything was gorgeous! The kids danced the night away and crashed as soon as they got home. Sunday was a day for packing, then spending some time with my family at the beach.

We got to see a side of Cole that we didn't know existed!!! Earlier last week, he came to me, concerned about the reception because he didn't know how to dance. He asked me how to dance. Now, if you know me, you know I can't dance. Well, you probably don't know that, because you've never seen me dance. That's because I don't dance. That's because I can't dance. I once took a hula class and the instructor called out to me, "Katie, you're Hawaiian...what are your hips doing moving like a white girl?" Sadly, that was giving me way too much credit and giving "white girls" a bad name. It's honestly just that bad. lol So, anyways, I told Cole that you just feel the music and move your body the way the music tells it to move. Now, see, I know this in theory. In practice, it's a whole different matter! Cole seemed content with that answer. So, he seemed to take my words to heart because as soon as the music started, he was out there on the dance floor, dancing the night away. He was sweating like crazy and was just AMAZING. I didn't know that boy could move like that! It was raw talent, baby! He must take after his aunty, because he sure didn't get that from me! I did go out and dance once. (Go, me!) Ethan asked me to dance with him to a slow song...how sweet is that? Apparently he asked his Uncle Jay to dance with him and was told that he needed to dance with a girl. lol So, I danced with him...rather awkwardly. I like to think people thought I was dancing badly because I was slow dancing with a four year old. Yeah, that's it.

We had such an amazing time! I love when I get to spend time with my family. It doesn't happen anywhere near often enough!

Some pictures from the wedding and reception. These are obviously out of order, but I don't feel like taking the time to reorder them:

Sera

The beautiful bride

My brother walking my mom down the aisle

My youngest brother and my mom

Mother/Son dance

Ethan, the ring bearer

The glowing bride

The officiator, groomsmen and ring bearer

My sister and her husband

Sera, going in for a kiss

The happy couple

Emma, shaking her groove thing

We couldn't get him to smile

My whole family, minus my sister in law (who is taking the picture) and my nephew (who was too busy playing in the sand to come take a picture)

My Aunty Fay and Uncle Ed

First dance as husband and wife

My beautiful sister, Chelsie

Cole, getting down

Cole and Sera dancing

The cousins

Daddy/Daughter dance

AllieGayle, playing under my chair

Brothers

Caitlin

Caitlin, dancing with her cousin

Cutting the cake

Pictures of my kids at the beach to follow at a later time! :)

Celebrate Earth Day All Month Long

2008-04-02T19:20:00.001-07:00

My sweet little valentine

2008-03-21T23:59:00.000-07:00

Cole and I were driving home from school the other day when Cole heard the word "love" in one of the songs on the radio. He told me, "I know how to spell love." I asked him, "Oh yeah? How do you spell it?" His response?

M-O-M

Is it any wonder why I love that boy so much?

Baby shower craziness

2008-03-17T13:09:00.000-07:00

So, I'm throwing a baby shower for my friend this weekend. I've found that I really have to reign myself in when putting together parties. What started off in my mind as a fun little get together has morphed into this huge affair as I've had more time to think about it. It's funny because my mom often joked that if you gave my dad too much time to think about things it turned into a huge elaborate ordeal, even when it didn't need to be. I've been walking around for weeks with scraps of paper in my pockets, making notes and lists as I think of things I want to decorate with, food I want to serve, music I want to play, etc. I have so many lists, I can't keep track of them all. lol When I seriously sat down the other night, found my lists, combined all of my thoughts, wrote out all of my ingredients, etc., I realized that there was just too much. There is no way I could fit it all into the time allotted and into a reasonable budget, so I cut out a lot.

I think there will be enough food. In reality, there will probably be too much, but you can never have too much food, right? I've got all of the favors made, games planned out, I'm finishing purchasing the decorations today (minus the fresh flowers, which have been ordered and will be picked up on Friday), and I will purchase the food tomorrow or Wednesday, start preparing food on Thursday and will hopefully be done by the time the party starts on Saturday. lol Unfortunately, the kids have advancement tests for tae kwon do on Saturday, so the last minute prep work, food wise, will be left to the mom to be and her family. I feel TERRIBLE about that. This is HER shower. She's not supposed to lift a finger! I just won't be able to get it done though. :( I'm hoping it will just be blanching some vegetables and cutting up some fruit. I'm really hoping to have the majority of the things done by Friday night, leaving Saturday for fruit and veggie prep work, then decorating.

Wish me luck!

Thanks Sean!

2008-03-06T10:14:00.001-08:00

Sean recently posted this on his blog and I enjoyed it so much that I had to share it on mine as well.

Pancreatic cancer takes too many good people from this world. :( (I also learned today that Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer. As terrible as it is that yet another person has this terrible disease, I hope that he is able to raise awareness of this devestating illness)

I can't sleep

2008-02-22T02:38:00.000-08:00

So, it's 2:38 am and I just can't sleep, so I decided to blog, which I suppose I should be doing anyways, but nothing terribly exciting has been happening lately, so rather than bore you with mundane things, I just leave you hanging...imagining what wonderful, exciting, amazing things I must be doing with all of the time I'm spending not blogging. Yeah...that's it.

The kids are off of school for the week. Drake also took the week off, so we could do something SPECTACULAR. I had dreams of spending three days at Disneyland, going to Knotts Berry Farms, going to Sea World, going to the zoo...SOMETHING. Instead, Drake got sick. Nice. I think he did it on purpose. lol Okay, so I'm sure he didn't, but it seems mighty convenient that Mr. "I don't want to do anything with my time off but sleep in, cuddle with the kids, watch movies, etc.," got sick and has spent the whole week in bed. Lovely. So, we've done absolutely nothing.

Dress knitting is...coming along...I guess. I'm done with Allie's. Of course, it was the smallest, so that was easy. I took a break to knit...some stuff...for someone who reads this blog...or rather, for their soon to be born baby, so I won't be talking about that here. lol Almost done with one part, should be moving onto the next tomorrow. It knit up a lot faster than I had anticipated, which is always nice because usually the opposite proves to be true.

I'm still planning my trip for Vegas in September. Good times to be had by all! The number of people going dropped CONSIDERABLY, which is nice. Now I don't have to make nice to a whole lot of people at once. I always feel so fake when I'm in a large group of people. I feel like I have a bad moment, so I have this stupid smile plastered on my face and I play nice so as to be "acceptable" by everyone. You know that phrase, "You can't please everybody!" Yeah, I try to prove that wrong. Now, it's only the people I'm closest to going, which will make things infinitely better. I'm trying to convince one of my good friends to go, but she's being difficult. Ahem...you know who you are! She seems to be coming around though, which I couldn't be happier about! Seriously, the trip just wouldn't be the same without her and when she said she might go, you should have seen the big cheesey grin on my face. I may have even done a happy dance in my chair...just maybe. I think we're planning on staying at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino. I'm open to suggestions of other hotels though if anyone has them. We're trying to keep things semi affordable without having to stomp on cockroaches. On the strip is a must since we won't have any transportation other than our own two feet.

The kids got their report cards last Friday. They all did amazingly well! I couldn't be more proud of them! Caitlin got a couple of 2's last time (which means "working towards the standard") and she raised them to 3's (working at standard) this trimester. She's has really been working hard and it shows. She got E's (exceeds expectations) on all of her effort grades. Emma got mostly 4's (working above standard) and a few 3's. She got mostly E's and a few M's (meets expectation) for effort. Cole got all 4's and a 3 in science and a 3 in History. He got all E's for effort in academic areas and M's for effort in behavioral areas. They make me very happy. Emma and Caitlin also got their results for the MAPS (measure of academic progress) and they are both improving greatly!

Cole is just soaking up this whole learning thing like a sponge! He's a fluent reader now, which I never could have imagined would happen so quickly. He reads everything he can get his hands on! He loves getting new books and reading them to anyone who will listen...and sometimes even those who won't. lol One of his favorite things to do is to read to Allie, even though she just wants to eat the pages of the books. It makes me very happy to see him so enthusiastic about learning.

I really can't think of much else to write about. My life is fairly boring, but it makes me happy.

Not yet!!!

2008-02-11T18:50:00.001-08:00

Okay, so ignore the fact that she looks terrible because I have no idea how long she was crying before I finally heard her and the fact that the picture is of such poor quality because the room was practically pitch black when I took the picture, but LOOK WHAT SHE'S DOING!!!! She pulled herself up and was STANDING in her bed!!! She's TOO LITTLE! She's not supposed to be growing up this quickly. Someone please tell her to go back to laying there, smiling at me, not able to move on her own. Thanks!

Oh, and she was mighty pissed because she couldn't figure out how to get back down.

I was tired

2008-01-26T00:12:00.001-08:00

I was tired today. All day long, I just felt like I was dragging. I was SO looking forward to falling asleep tonight. I rarely go to bed before one in the morning. It's pretty much unheard of for me to fall asleep before midnight. Tonight, around 10:30 I heard Drake ask, "You're not actually asleep, are you?" Problem was...I was. Note the word was and then note the time of this post. Granted, right now it's barely past midnight, but man...I was tired.

Anyways...I told Drake I didn't know why I was so tired, but I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I apologized because I knew he had been planning on watching a movie or something, but I was pretty much already back asleep before the word "Sorry" left my lips.

All of a sudden, I hear Ethan crying. I ask him what's wrong...hoping it's something as simple as, "Cole stole my blanket." No such luck. "I pooped my pants." Great. Get up, clean him up, thank God that you've been putting him back in a pull up because he's been sick and having a lot of accidents lately, send him back to bed, stumble back to your own bed, start drifting back to sleep..."Remember I said my mouth hurts? What can I do?" Clear head...remember Ethan saying something about his mouth hurts...tell him to drink some water...drift back to sleep.

All of a sudden, more crying. "What's wrong, Ethan?" "My bed is a mess!" Wake up...clear head enough to remember he pooped his pants...freak out that his bed may be covered in poop...remember that he was wearing a pull up and there was barely even a mess in it and there was no way it was all over his bed...walk into bedroom to find...VOMIT. ALL OVER HIS BED. How did this child neglect to mention the fact that he threw up all over his bed?!?!?!?!? A little poop in his pull up...worth screaming and crying about...throw up all over his bed? Meh...not so much important, I guess. Wrap blankets up in themselves, take off sheets, pray that it didn't go through to the mattress...thank God for mattress pads...put new sheets on, put new blankets on, put sick boy back to bed, throw everything in the wash, wash your hands to above the elbows in water as hot as it will get, contemplate showering, but realize that a shower will wake you up so much that you won't be able to go back to bed, crawl back in bed...figure out that you're wide awake. So, that brings me here. (Well, after a shower, anyways.) I was so excited about falling asleep before midnight, for once. I had grand plans of actually being awake and energized tomorrow. So much for that.

That little stinker

2008-01-24T22:20:00.001-08:00

So, I go into my room today and see some double pointed needles on the ground. I think, "Hmmm...that's strange. What are those doing there?" Then stop...think some more...then immediately start to panic. SURELY those aren't the needles that are currently in the sock I'm knitting, RIGHT?!?!!?!?! I pick them up. I head to the basket where my sock is laying...or rather, was laying. It's not there. "Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap." Take a quick scan of the room and don't see the sock...you know...the one that I was well on my way to finishing...the one I've been working on for almost a week. Then I see it. The sock? Oh no...not the sock. The kinky yarn. Not kinky in a good way...kinky in the way that means it was once something knit...yes...that kind of kinky. I pick it up. I hear the patter of little feet behind me and before I even turn around I hear, "I not do it!" Only, it's in the tone of voice that tells you that she most certainly did do it. I turn around to see my sweet, angelic, beautiful two year old...with fear in her eyes. "I not touch dat...you say no touch...I not touch it. Efan did it." Enter Ethan. "Ethan, did you do this?" "Do what?" "This!" "No," and he turns and walks away...confirming what I already knew...he didn't do it. Otherwise, he'd be the one still standing in the room with fear in their eyes. "Hagen did it!" exclaims my two year old. Only problem is...Caitlin is still at school. She's been there all day. "Sera, did you do this? Did you take the needles out of my knitting and pull the yarn? Tell me the truth." "I sorry Mommy." She was so sad. That little stinker. She's lucky she's so cute.

If you don't hear from me for a while...

2008-01-24T13:55:00.000-08:00

it's because I'm buried in a mountain of yarn. Caitlin had the bright idea that she wanted me to knit her a dress to wear to my brother's wedding in May. Of course, that means Emma wanted one too...and Sera...and since it would look strange for three of my girls to have the same dress and not the fourth, we had to throw Allie in there as well. So, we found the dress:

And they picked their yarn:

Caitlin:
Emma:
Sera:
Allie: (well, she didn't pick it...I did)

Of course, Caitlin has to be difficult and can't find a single color of yarn in the proper weight, and fell in LOVE with a yarn in a different weight, so now I have to go and do math. Ugh. According to Yarnhog, math lies...so, this should be fun. I think I'll make her dress last.

If, come May, I haven't resurfaced, it means the yarn has smothered me. :(

Picture this...

2008-01-21T16:52:00.000-08:00

Okay, so let me set the scene for you:

My family is sitting quietly in a pew during sacrament meeting during church. Someone is up at the pulpit, speaking. The congregation is pretty much silent...as they should be at this time.

My dad hands me a note, which I quietly read. It reads,

What does Christopher Robin find in the outhouse?

I quickly and quietly write back on the note,

I don't know, what?

and hand it back to my dad. He quickly scribbles something down and hands it back and it says:

Pooh

I start cracking up...people start staring. I can't help it...it was really funny.

There is my random memory of the day.

Monster Jam

2008-01-21T12:34:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, we took the kids to Monster Jam at Qualcomm stadium. They had SO much fun! We went for the pit party at 3 pm where we were able to meet the drivers, see the trucks up close, as well as see some cars from movies, watch some remote controlled cars do some pretty neat tricks and just enjoy some time walking around. The pit party ended at 4:30 and the gates for the event opened at 5. The actual event started at 7 pm and ended at 10 pm. After dealing with the traffic getting out of the parking lot and driving home, we got home around midnight. It was a LONG day, but SO much fun!

Here are some pictures that Drake took. I'm so in love with our camera (and lens). We had seats that were literally in the VERY top row of the stadium, yet you can see the words on the trucks in the pictures Drake took. Awesome! You can view the album to see larger versions of the pictures. :)

Did you know about this?

2008-01-18T18:49:00.000-08:00

So, usually, I go through the blogs I read one by one to see if anyone has updated. I told Drake, "I wish blogger (the medium most people I read seem to use) would let you subscribe to blogs so I get emailed whenever someone new posts! He asked me, "Why don't you just use google reader and subscribe to the feed?" "Huh?" Now, I know what a feed is (I use it on Ravelry to feed my blog to my profile page) but I had never heard of google reader. I told him I wasn't interested because I just wanted something that would email me new posts.

I'm eating my words now and LOVING google reader! One page will tell me who has posted, give me a link to their new post and tell me what they posted! SO much time has been saved! Drake, as usual, was right. (Although....shhhhhh....don't tell him I said that!)

Birthdays

2008-01-13T10:15:00.000-08:00

I kept wanting to post Friday, then again on Saturday, but I just couldn't. Instead I allowed myself to wallow and grieve. Friday would have been my dad's 57th birthday. Saturday would have been Isaac's 22nd birthday. I miss them both terribly. We lost my dad six years ago this April. In a little less than a week it will have been eight months since we lost Isaac. I wish I could say that the person responsible for Isaac's death has been caught, but sadly, he has not.

Happy belated birthday Dad and Isaac. I miss you.

Been a bit

2008-01-07T12:53:00.000-08:00

Nope, not dead...just busy and on vacation! We just got back from visiting with my family for a week and a half. We had a blast. I miss them so much. This is supposed to be our last year down here in San Diego. Yeah, we'll see. It's supposed to be our last year EVERY year. Ugh.

Christmas was wonderful. The kids got lots of nice gifts. Good food, good company, just an all around great trip!

Some pictures from Christmas day:

This one is funny...can you tell who is winning?

I post this picture, not only because she's doing dishes (which is absolutely unheard of!) but because she is wearing a shirt that I used to wear...in highschool. My poor mom. She must have cringed when she saw some of the things I wore! A senior in highschool should not wear a shirt that apparently fits a nine year old.

All of my parent's grandkids got together and took some pictures:

That's a whole lotta kids! Granted, almost half of them are mine, but whatever. lol

So, the beginning of the new year has come and gone and I actually made new years resolutions this year! I know...the world may be coming to an end!

My two resolutions:

NEVER go on a diet again! You heard it. I'm not dieting...EVER AGAIN! I'm just going to focus on eating properly and exercising. None of this dieting crap...it never works for me.
Don't get pregnant this year! Seems like a strange resolution, I know...but you know me...that seems to be dang hard to do! lol I would say, "NEVER GET PREGNANT AGAIN!" but I reserve the right to want another child in the future...just not this year...or hopefully anytime in the next five years.

So, there you have it...my resolutions for this year!

I won't bore you with my knitting stuff because I plan on making another blahg for that.

Oh, I got Drake a new lens for his/our camera. It's WAY cool! He can take some awesome pictures with it. I can't. *sigh* Tara, when are we taking that photography course? My pictures look like caca!

Christmas Survey

2007-12-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

I got this from Suzanne, who doesn't know I read her blog, which may be a bit creepy because our kids are friends, but I've never mentioned to her that I found her blog and read it regularly. Is that creepy? We're also on a knitting website together and I'm not sure if she knows that or not. I'm so anti social...I should really talk to her more. lol

1. Wrapping Paper or Gift Bags?
I have a love/hate relationship with wrapping gifts. I LOVE wrapping gifts elaborately. I hate the fact that I have so many gifts to wrap that I just can't afford to do it the way I want to.

2. Real tree or artificial?
I wish we had a real tree. Sadly, Drake is allergic to...well...life, so we can't have a real tree. I remember when we were little, my parents put this pine smelling thing in the middle of our fake tree...it didn't make the tree seem any more real. It was kinda sad. I dream of one day taking my kids out and cutting down our own Christmas tree. I have fond memories of doing that. Our fake tree broke last year and I opted to buy more presents rather than buy a new fake tree, so we're not even putting one up this year. How sad is that?

There's my Christmas tree randomness.

3. When do you put up the tree?
When I put a tree up, it goes up on the first of December. All holidays get decorated for on the first day of the month of which they're in. I'm particular like that. I don't think my husband knows that though. He'd rather I not decorate at all. What a grumpy gus.

4. When do you take down the tree?
The tree comes down the day after we get home from my mom's.

5. Do you like Egg Nog?
LOVE it...as long as it's nice and thick. I don't like watery egg nog.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
My mom got me a German Christmas thing when I was a senior. I forget the name of it. It's this carousel thing that when you light the candles, it spins. I didn't appreciate it when I got it. In fact, I'm afraid I may have even made a face when I opened it. I wanted money. Now, however...I love it. I know my mom thought it was something I would really appreciate. I had taken German for three years in highschool and LOVED that class. I loved the teacher, I loved the language...that class made school enjoyable for me. It means so much to me that my mom bought me a gift that represented something I really enjoyed in my life. I may not have appreciated the gift when I got it, but it is by far the best Christmas gift I ever got.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
No, but we have a baby Jesus in a trough that the kids put pieces of "straw" (small yellow strips of paper) in every time they do a good deed. The goal is to cushion baby Jesus by Christmas.

8. Hardest person to buy for?
My nieces and nephews...although their parents just tell me what to buy, so it's really not that hard. lol

9. Easiest person to buy for?
Drake. He says, "Honey, this is what I want," and I buy it.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
I can't think of a bad Christmas gift I've received. I'll tell you a funny story though. One year, my brother bought my sister the movie, "Labyrinth," and she cried when she opened it because she thought the gift was so awful. We still make fun of her for it. There have been a few gifts she's gotten since then that I wonder if people bought her just to see her reaction when she opened it.

11. Mail or email Christmas Cards?
I'm terrible with cards. Just terrible. I always write them all out, but never mail them. I don't know why.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
A Christmas Story

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
The day after Thanksgiving...I should really start earlier because I always end up shopping on Christmas Eve.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Yes. If I can't use it and someone else can, why not?

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
My dad used to make the BEST breakfasts Christmas morning! Everyone looked forward to Christmas morning...not only for the presents, but for the huge, amazing breakfast. Great...now I'm crying. Stupid surveys. lol

16. Clear lights or coloured?
Clear. Period.

17. Favorite Christmas Song?
O Holy Night.

18. Travel or stay home at Christmas?
Travel. We visit my mom and siblings for Christmas. Hopefully next year will be the last year spent traveling!

19. Can you name all of Santa’s Reindeer?
Of course.

20. Angel or Star on the top of the tree?
Angel Moroni.

21. Open Christmas Eve or Morning?
Christmas morning. It always seemed strange to me that people open gifts on Christmas Eve. We do open one gift on Christmas Eve though...jammies. The kids are allowed to tear into their stockings as soon as they wake up on Christmas. The rest of the stuff has to wait until the parents stumble out of bed.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
"Mommy, I thought of something else I want for Christmas," ten times a day as they watch television.

23. What’s the corniest family tradition you do or miss doing?
We don't do anything corny! It's all fun!

24. What’s the worst thing you’ve seen related to Christmas?
I've seen some pretty horrid decorations.

25. Which looks best, theme trees or homey trees?
Homey trees...definitely. Theme trees make me sad.

26. Gingerbread or Sugar Cookies?
Yes please.

27. Do you like fruitcake?
I don't think I've ever actually eaten fruitcake.

Okay, so if you read this, take the survey on your blog as well!

CHORE WARS!!!

2007-12-13T15:53:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness...my friend, Laura (Can I call her my friend? I only know her online. Am I a loser for having "friends" online? I've never even spoken to her on the phone...just online through a message board. I still consider her my friend though. Yes, I just may be a loser. *cues the song "So Much Cooler Online." (Give me about an hour and I'll have the song in a playlist on this blog :) ) ) (Can I really have a perenthesis inside of a perenthesis?) (Can I really have this many things in perenthesis one right after another?) (I'm a bit parenthesis crazy today.) Anyways, so as I was saying, my friend, Laura, introduced me to Chore Wars a couple of days ago. Trust me when I say I feel like I have tried just about EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE to get my kids doing chores. It just doesn't work. My children are the most stubborn people I know. I love them for it, but man...it's frustrating. Anyways, Chore Wars allows you to start a "party" and each character that is a part of that party can go on "adventures." Adventures are chores that they can do. For example, the adventures my party can go on are "clean bedroom," "make bed," "wash bathroom sink," "mop bathroom floor," etc. When they complete these chores, they get to claim the adventure and gain XP (experience points) and sometimes fight a monster while doing it, and once in a while earn a treasure. The treasure that I set is anywhere from 10 cents to 1 dollar, depending on how difficult the chore was. At the end of the week, I'm going to go in, see how much money they've earned, then put that amount of money into their bank accounts.

Oh my goodness...my kids are CLEANING!!! They LOVE to see their name at the top of the list as having the most XP. They fight over who gets to do the chores! Cole gets out of school the earliest, so from the moment he gets home until Emma gets home, he is cleaning, trying to get ALL of the chores done so there are none left for the girls to do when they get home from school. LOL I did make it so there are some chores on there that Cole can't do, and they're worth a lot of XP because they're a lot of work, so the girls still have things to do like do the laundry, wash the dishes, etc. I'm wondering if I can make it so I don't have to lift a single finger all day long. See, I knew there was a reason I had so many kids!

Just when you think you're going to lose it...

2007-12-01T14:09:00.000-08:00

your child does something that makes you so unbelievably happy and proud that you think, if only for a moment, that you might actually be doing something right.

A couple of days ago, Caitlin came home from school and told me that she needed to talk to me. She told me, "I know you said I should never keep important secrets from you, so I need to tell you something." She then went on to tell me something a friend of hers told her and told her not to tell anyone. She said that she didn't want to betray her friend's trust, but felt like this was one of those secrets that I wanted her to tell me.

I told her that this was definitely one of those secrets she needed to tell me and how proud I was of her for coming to me about it. I know she felt awful about betraying her friend and that she doesn't fully understand why it's important to tell me these things, but she did it because she felt it was the right thing to do. Then, I told her that I was going to have to tell someone else so they could take the appropriate steps to keep her friend safe. She was SO upset. She was DEVASTATED...thinking that her friend was going to find out that she was the one who told and that her friend would be mad at her. I sat her down and explained to her that it was more important for her friend to be safe than it was to worry about her friend being angry with her. I promised that I would try my best to make sure her friend didn't find out that she was the one that told, but if she did and her friend was angry, to just remember that she did the right thing and sometimes doing the right thing isn't the easy thing.

I am so unbelievably happy that Caitlin came to me and confided in me. As I mentioned in my last post, she drives me unbelievably insane at times, but when it comes to the truly important things, she has proven to me time and time again that she is a mature, responsible, and intelligent child with an amazing amount of integrity.

I love being a mom.

2007-11-28T21:20:00.000-08:00

So, what do you do with a nine year old who drives you absolutely batty? One who seemingly doesn't care what the consequences of her actions are...she just does whatever she wants to do? What do you do when you're at your wits end and you honestly just want to lock yourself in a closet so you don't have to get her on case once again...over and over again...constantly, without end...about whatever it is she's done that has made you angry this time? Seriously...I want to know. What do you do?

I love my daughter. She is one of the six best things that have happened to my life. She drives me crazy. Not the good "Haha, I'll laugh about this later," kind of crazy. The "Where did I go wrong and am I a horrible mom?" kind of crazy. Do you want to know what she said to me today? Or rather SCREAMED at me? "STOP F*$&%ING YELLING AT ME!!!" Yes, that came out of my darling nine year old's mouth. Maybe she is right. Maybe I need to calm down, take a step back and find another way to communicate with her. It's not that I haven't tried. It's that thus far, nothing has worked. So, I resort to yelling, which I HATE doing. Honestly, there are only two people in this world that I yell at...Caitlin and Drake. Go figure...they're pretty much the same person. It takes a LOT to get me to raise my voice. It seems to be an everyday thing with Caitlin though.

So, what am I to do? I've decided to honor her request. I'm going to stop yelling. On top of this, I'm going to spend more time with her. Maybe she's just acting this way because she wants attention. It can't be easy being the eldest of six. Maybe she feels unappreciated. Maybe she feels lost in a sea of kids. Maybe...I don't know. All I know is that I just can't handle much more of this. I hate that not a single day goes by that she's just happy all day. Something needs to change. I just don't know what it is.

He knits!

2007-11-19T13:45:00.000-08:00

So, the girls asked me to teach them how to finger knit today. Cole was feeling a bit left out because he wasn't there when I taught them. So, he asked me if I could teach him how to knit a hat...with real needles! Let me preface this by saying that I SUCK at teaching. I cannot teach. The thought of homeschooling never crossed my mind because my kids would suffer greatly. I am in awe of teachers. I just can't do it.

Anyways...So, I'm thinking, "How on earth can I possibly teach this kid to knit?" Not only can I not teach, but he's only five! Can a five year old really learn how to knit? Well...see for yourself! :D

He's currently up in his room, knitting himself a hat!

Oh, and for those reading this that can knit, I knit continental. I tried teaching him that way, but he was having a hard time with it, so I taught him to throw, which he caught onto right away!

Been a while

2007-11-11T21:42:00.000-08:00

So, what's new with me? A whole lot of nothing. lol Lately I've just kinda been moping around, not doing much of anything. I have about four different knitting projects going. The one I've progressed the most on is the Blossom dress for Sera. I'm making it out of organic cotton. It's nice and soft.

The kids got their report cards. They did exceptionally well. I had a parent/teacher conference with Cole's teacher. She said that he is just a little sponge and soaks everything up and once she introduces a concept, he just "gets it" and runs with it. She gave me a list of sight words that kindergarteners are supposed to know by the end of the year. Cole knows all but four of them. She said that she'll move on to the older kid lists once he finishes the Kindergarten list. Cole is writing full stories during free write. The children are expected to write a single sentence using a sight word at this point in the year. He's doing really well in math, which I pretty much already knew. She said that they're working on recognizing and writing numbers 1-20. Cole can recognize and write numbers up to 999,999 so he's not having a problem with that. lol Next trimester they'll be working on adding numbers 1-10. Cole has been able to add three digit numbers in his head since before he started school, so hopefully he won't be too bored. Cole got "Exceeds grade level expectations" and "Meets grade level expectations" in all subjects.

Emma had a phenomenal report card. She got "Meets grade level expectations" in writing and "Exceeds grade level expectations" in everything else. Her teacher had only wonderful things to say about her. At the end of this month, Emma is participating in an "Author's Tea." One child from each class is chosen to read a story they wrote at a special tea that their parents can attend. Emma also participated in this her kindergarten year.

Caitlin is working so hard. She is the only child I have in school that actually has to work for her grades. She struggles with math and writing. She got mostly "meets grade level expectations" and a few "Progressing towards grade level expectations." With her, we focus on her "effort" grades. She got all "Exceeds expectations" for effort in all subjects. This is all I really care about. She is trying SO hard. She studies her little butt off for tests. She reads and reads and reads even though she hates it. This week she is receiving an award at school. They are recognizing fourth and fifth graders that got excellent grades on their report cards and the fourth and fifth graders that the teachers wanted to recognize for working really hard, even though they may have not gotten great grades. I am so incredibly proud of her. As difficult as it is for her, she really does try so hard and I'm so pleased that her teachers recognize this.

Honestly, as terrible as this is, it took quite a while for me to be okay with Caitlin's grades. School was always really easy for me. I kinda grew up with the attitude that people who didn't get good grades just weren't trying, because none of it was hard. I couldn't understand how people could possibly struggle because school was so easy for me. As I got older, I realized that academics didn't come as easily to most people as it did to me. However, I kinda just assumed that I would only have kids like me. Drake is ridiculously smart. If you put us together, we should have some wicked smart kids, right? lol For a long time I thought Caitlin was just lazy, or just didn't care. It honestly took me a long time to realize that school is hard for her. Her teachers would all tell me what a great kid she is and how hard she was working. I couldn't see that because I was so fixated on her grades and how frustrated I got trying to help her with her homework because it seemed to me like she just wasn't trying. In reality, she just wasn't "getting it."

My biggest concern now is that I really am not sure what she is capable of. With Emma, I can tell her, "I want to see all 4's on your next report card. You need to do this and this and this to improve your grades next time." (4's are "exceeds grade level expectations") I know she's capable of this, so I want her to strive for it. I don't want to push Caitlin into feeling like I expect more from her than she is capable of, but I don't want to just say, "Oh, she struggles, so these grades are acceptable. She's trying hard," if she's capable of doing better. I don't want her to feel like she'll never be "good enough" or "smart enough," but I also don't want her to just be okay with getting poor grades and feel like she doesn't have to strive to do better if she's capable of doing so.

Being a mom is hard.

Ravelry!

2007-11-05T14:35:00.000-08:00

YAY!!!! I got my Ravelry Invite! I'm currently setting up my profile, making a list of my stash, queuing up my projects and getting ready to delve into it all! You'll probably notice that I'm going to start using tags for my posts because Ravelry supports RSS feeds and I only want my knitting posts to be grabbed for my profile, so to distinguish them from others, I'll start using tags. Anyways, if you're on Ravelry, I'm kealoha. Say Hi!

Finished a project!

2007-10-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I decided to start knitting a Sophie Bag. By the time I went to bed last night, it was done! It was a really nice distraction from the hats that I've been working on. (Although, my last two hats have been crocheted, so I was able to finish them in a couple of hours) I don't have a picture yet, but will take a picture when I've shaved it. It was my first foray into the world of felting, and I must say, it turned out pretty well! I was concerned that the bag might turn out larger than I intended it to because by the time I was done knitting it, it was seriously the size of one of those reusable grocery tote bags. I was planning on it being the size of a smallish purse. Apparently I had NOTHING to worry about though because, after felting, it turned out the size of a TINY purse. LOL Drake says he doesn't want me using it because it would look stupid for a grown woman to be carrying around what looks like a toy purse. I think it's adorable though and absolutely plan on using it!

We're having a barbecue!

2007-10-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the title to this post is horribly insensitive, but whatever.

So, I'm sure you've all heard of the Southern California Fires. What? You thought they were only in Malibu? Yeah, I love how the news reports on the million dollar homes that are being lost, but forgets the little guys...you know, the 600,000 people evacuated and the 1200 homes lost in San Diego. But, I digress.

We were evacuated on Monday morning. The fire burned through a neighborhood just a few miles north of us. Thankfully, short of terrible air, and a lot of ash, our neighborhood was untouched. We were able to go home Wednesday afternoon. The fires are still burning to the east, but we are no longer in harm's way.

We were lucky and able to stay with a friend instead of having to stay at an evacuation center.

Bland, boring post...sorry. I'm just drained.

Ouch!

2007-10-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

I hurt my back today. I have no idea what I did to it, but it HURTS! I think I messed it up when I was lifting boxes of books in the storage room. Caitlin was complaining that she didn't have any books to read for her 30 minutes/day that she has to read, so I figured now was a good time to pull out the boxes and boxes of books I packed away when I moved out of my parent's home. I've been keeping these books, just waiting for my children to grow old enough to read them. I think she's just reaching that point and I couldn't be more thrilled!

I have a thing for books. Ever since I was 3, I LOVED to read. I read anything and everything I can get my hands on. Seriously, it's an obsession. Trips to the library were a weekly, if not more often, occurrence once I was able to go on my own. Sadly, I didn't get into the "I'd rather buy a book than check it out from the library" mentality until I got older. So, a lot of the books I read as a child, I don't own. I do own a few though. I think I pulled out four boxes today and sorted them by things I thought Caitlin would like and things I thought she wouldn't like. Here's the sad part...Caitlin hates to read. :( So, my "things she would like to read" pile was MUCH smaller than the things she wouldn't like to read pile. She looked through my pile, chose about forty books and ignored the rest. It made me sad. She does, however, have a nice assortment of books she can read and she can no longer say, "I don't have any books to read," when it comes time to read. Today she had the gall to ask me if she could read a magazine instead of a book. lol

Emma is a reader though. I'm very happy about that. She's of the "I would rather buy a book than check it out from the library" mentality, so she costs us quite a bit of money. lol I don't mind though, because I know that someday she will be able to pull out boxes full of books and be thrilled to share them with her children. She'll be able to say, "This was one of my FAVORITE books! I hope you really like it, too!"

Wow

2007-10-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

So, I'm a big fan of wasting my time with online quizzes. They're usually pretty dumb...which is what makes them fun. lol Anyways, I took one tonight. Six simple questions. One not so simple answer. I'm amazed at how right it really was:

You're The Sound and the Fury!

by William Faulkner

Strong-willed but deeply confused, you are trying to come to grips with a major crisis in your life. You can see many different perspectives on the issue, but you're mostly overwhelmed with despair at what you've lost. People often have a hard time understanding you, but they have some vague sense that you must be brilliant anyway. Ultimately, you signify nothing.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

We all do know that I'm brilliant, right? ;)

Ugh

2007-10-17T01:44:00.000-07:00

I have been in quite a funk lately. I don't know what it is. Perhaps it's the sun not shining as much during the day. Perhaps it's because I haven't been getting out of the house much. Perhaps it's a late onset of baby blues. Whatever it is, it just sucks. I have been UNBELIEVABLY irritable. The other day I was out running some errands and someone almost backed up into me. They then had the NERVE to honk at me...like it was MY fault they weren't looking when they were backing out of their parking spot and almost hit me. All of a sudden, from the back of the car I hear, "Mommy, what does ***hole mean?" I was SHOCKED. I replied, "Where did you hear that word?" He said, "You just said it." So, apparently I'm randomly swearing and not even realizing it...in front of my KIDS no less! Great...no mother of the year award here!

Even the littlest things have been bugging the heck out of me. It's gotten to the point that I feel like I should just lock myself in a closet until this all blows over because I'm just plain mean. My poor kids. The slightest thing sets me off and boy do they hear it. :( I've been such a crappy mom lately. I hear myself yelling and think, "Katie...GET A GRIP! This wouldn't even normally bother you. It's not a big deal!" yet I'm still yelling. Then I'm crying because I feel like such a crappy mom for yelling.

Drake was gone for a week. I was SO excited the day he got home. I had missed him so much. But I swear...from the minute he went home until the minute we went to bed that night, we were fighting. I don't know if it was his nitpicking at everything I apparently did wrong while he was gone, or if I was just overreacting, or if I just had unrealistic expectations of what things would be like when he got home...I don't know. All I know is that NOTHING was as I expected it would be. I thought we would be this happy family, so thrilled to be back together after him being gone for a week. I was expecting a period of just being happy and reveling in the fact that he was home, but it was nothing like that. I felt like the moment he walked in the door he was all over me about every little thing that he felt was wrong with the house and with the kids. I had tried SO hard to make things run smoothly and get things done while he was gone so he would come home and be happy and it was for NOTHING. Not only did he not notice all the things I did, he harped on all the things I didn't do. I think with this funk I've been in, I was really relying on his homecoming to be a bright spot in my life. I was expecting at least a few hours of genuine happiness. It was unfair of me to put that expectation on him. I think that when things failed to go exactly how I expected them to, it just intensified the negative. At least, that's what I'm going to tell myself because otherwise he really was just a complete ass, which really sucks.

Usually, I can just move past things. They bother me for a second, then I just let them go. I can't seem to do that lately. Things that bother me, continue to bother me. People that irritate me, continue to irritate me. I just really need to get out of this funk.

Lists

2007-10-09T20:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I am pretty much THE most unorganized person you will EVER meet. Some people have "organized chaos." I have pure chaos. You know how you see those television shows about the families with a gazillion kids and the mom is super organized? I wish that was me. I also wish my kids did chores like theirs do, but I digress. (Oh, and I'm super jealous of their laundromats inside of their homes...when I have a house of my own, I'm SO going to have multiple washers and dryers! So cool!)

So anyways, in an effort to be more organized, last night I made a list of household chores I wanted to get done today. Usually, I just kinda wander around the house, aimlessly, doing the things that look like they need to get done. I think this leads to a lot of wasted time. I have major time management issues. OH MY GOODNESS...lists are SO much fun! Seriously...had I known just how much I love lists, I would have done this a LONG time ago! Very few things give you the same satisfaction as checking that little box. Last night's list looked something like this:
_ Clean bathrooms
_ Do three loads of laundry
_ Clean bedrooms
_ Wash walls in hallway

When I got done washing the walls in the hallway, I checked that off. It was as though the heavens opened, light shone down and angels sang...yes...checking that off felt that good. So, I redid my list to look something like this:
DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM
_ Wash countertop
_ Wash Sink
_Wash toilet outside
_ Wash toilet inside
_ Wash mirror
_ Vacuum floor (who puts carpet in the BATHROOM?)

So, now instead of one check for "Clean bathrooms" I got six checks for a single bathroom! So much fun!

The part I'm concerned about though is that I may not get through my list by the end of the day. What do I do with the things that didn't get done? Do I just put them on tomorrow's list? Do I not go to bed until every single thing is checked off? I have a bit of a problem with obsessive behavior. Once I start something, I go full steam ahead until it either gets done or I simply cannot move anymore. I HATE leaving things unfinished. I will fixate on something and do it to death. (Well, except with my knitting, it seems, hence the five or six projects I'm currently working on) I think that's a big part of why I have such a hard time with daily house upkeep. It's all incredibly daunting because once I start on a room, it must be spotless before I can move onto another room. However, with six kids, nothing seems to get spotless, so it all just becomes overwhelming. I'm hoping my new list obsession will help with that. If it's not on my list, I don't need to do it. If I don't write down that I'm going to clean the baseboards with a toothbrush, I just won't do it, and I'll be okay with that. Plus, I don't need to stick to one room and clean it until it sparkles. I can look on my list and decide to do one thing in one room, then another in a different room. As long as the list is getting checked off, I'm good! I figure this way, by the end of the day, the house is in a managable state because I had a clear view of what I wanted to get done in the beginning instead of, "I really need to clean this room."

Tomorrow I'm making a grocery list. WOOHOO!

Still waiting...

2007-10-06T20:33:00.000-07:00

Less than 14,000 people ahead of me on the Ravelry waiting list! YAY!!! Just under 2,000 people behind me. I can't believe how quickly that list is growing!

I got new glasses! I LOOOOOOOOOVE them! I thought I loved my old glasses. I love these ones even more! I'm going to dye my hair while Drake is gone (because he hates me dying my hair) so I'll post a picture of my new glasses and my new hair in a few days!

Since Drake has been working so many hours lately, we decided to meet up for lunch yesterday. I had forgotten something at home, so we ran home to get it. He went inside to get it. He came back to the car with a box and a not too happy look on his face. "$***** Katie!?!?!?!? How can you spend $**** on YARN?!?!?!" (Amount censored because it was a bit ridiculous) I didn't know whether to look sheepish and ashamed because he was obviously upset, or to squeal with glee because my knitpicks order had come in three days before it was scheduled to arrive. Darn credit card being in his name...the package was addressed to him!

I'm SO thrilled with my options needles and the yarn I got is just yummy! I can start on the hats now!!!!! I also got my teeny tiny dpns and some sock yarn! YAY!!!!!

I don't think it helped that just before we came home and he found this package, we were at Michael's buying more yarn and needles. I do, however, now have the right size needles to start on my purses! Yay!!!

Last night I made myself a little "works in progress" box. It's keeping my yarn nicely organized! Go Katie!

Passing the time

2007-10-04T23:27:00.000-07:00

I like to be awake when Drake gets home from work, so here I sit, bored out of my mind. It's 11:30 pm and Drake has no idea what time he'll get home. He only got to work at...oh...8:30 this morning. :( He had already worked more than 40 hours this week before he even went into work this morning, so by end of day Saturday (because he will be working on Saturday) he'll probably have worked 80 hours or so this week. :( Poor guy. I know the long hours are hard on him. I know he wants to be home with the family. I know he hates feeling like he barely closed his eyes and all of a sudden it's time to go back to work. I feel selfish thinking about how much I hate him working long hours, but I do. It's hard on the kids to not see their dad at all during the day...especially since he's leaving for a week starting Saturday. Caitlin has been asking me when she's going to be able to spend some time with him before he leaves and I just don't know how to tell her that she's not going to be able to. Even Allie seems to be having a hard time not having him around these past few days. He's usually there to put her to sleep. Tonight she screamed for hours, refusing to go to sleep. I'm fairly certain it's because she's used to Drake putting her to bed.

Anyways, enough of that mopey sadness. New revelry waiting list stats:

You signed up on October 2, 2007
You are #38828 on the list.
14957 people are ahead of you in line.
1053 people are behind you in line.
59% of the list has been invited so far

Moving on up!

I went and bought some new yarn today. (Shhhh...don't tell Drake. When I get sad...I shop.) I bought this GORGEOUS bamboo yarn. It's so luxuriously soft. I could only find three skeins from the same dye lot and they're really small, so I don't know what I'm going to make with it. I started a baby blanket, but I don't think I'm going to have enough of the yarn, so I think I'll frog it and decide to make something else. I was thinking maybe a sweater for Allie, but she's just going to drool all over it, so it's probably going to turn out to be a shirt for Caitlin. I think I'll have just enough for that. I also bought some wool yarn to make a felted purse for my sister for Christmas. (Now I'm hoping she doesn't read this. LOL Then again, I have three sisters, so they have no idea which one I'm talking about.) I also bought some soy/wool blend yarn to make the same purse for myself. I have to find the right size needles for the purse though. I KNOW I bought some quite a while back...it's just a matter of finding them. I really must get organized. You should see my yarn stash. It's such a mess. Just four more days until more yarn and needles come in the mail! YAY!!! The hat I'm knitting is on hold until I find my missing dpn. :( I should take some pictures of everything I'm working on...after I get my stash under control. It's a serious mess.

*Sigh* It would be nice if Drake would get home before midnight. He's got 17 minutes. Yeah, I don't see that happening. Perhaps before one? A girl can dream, right? lol

Anyways, off to find something to do to keep myself busy. I suppose I could clean the house. That's no fun though. lol

Ravelry

2007-10-03T09:42:00.000-07:00

So, I've been hearing about this site, Ravelry, on all sorts of knitting blogs lately. (Yes, I'm a dork and read knitting blogs) It looks like SUCH an awesome site! It's only in beta, so they're slowly inviting beta testers. I signed up to be on the waiting list to be a beta tester yesterday. I just checked my place in line.

You signed up on Yesterday
You are #38828 on the list.
16610 people are ahead of you in line.
282 people are behind you in line.
56% of the list has been invited so far

So, still over 16,000 beta testers ahead of me. It could be worse. I could be one of the 282 people who signed up after I did. LOL

Since I'm chatting a bit about knitting, I'll give you a list of the things I'm working on right now. I just finished a hat out of some yummy soft galenas wool yarn, dyed by Three Irish Girls in their Elsbeth colorway. It's beautiful! I knit it flat though and decided I just don't like hats with seams, so I'm using the rest of the skein to make the same hat, but a little bit bigger and in the round. This is my first attempt at cables. I was a bit worried, but they're turning out okay. I have issues with tension though...especially when going from knit to purl. I've got to work on that. On another set of needles I have a pair of pants going. I lost my second skein of yarn though, so those are on hold until I can find it. LOL

Coming in the mail I have the knitpicks options set of needles. I've been very limited in what I can do because I just don't have enough needles to do all of the projects I want to do. So, hopefully this will alleviate this issue a bit. I also bought their set of 1-3 dpns so I can start on some socks! I bought some sock yarn (in burgandy) to make myself a pair of socks and some yarn (in Volcano Twist) to make my little sister a pair. She's all emo, so I thought she might like a pair of knee highs made out of this.

I'm in a homemade hat swap on Friends and Families, so I bought the yarn to make the four hats that I signed up to make. I have an adult woman's hat to make, two young girl's hats and one young boy's hat to make. So, I ordered all of the yarn for those and when it arrives on the 8th, it should be all hats, all the time around here. lol

Lots of Randomne...oh look...SQUIRREL!

2007-09-28T21:29:00.000-07:00

So, we'll start with the ticker below. I'M GOING TO VEGAS!!!! I've never been to Vegas. I'm excited. I'm going with a bunch of girlfriends. I think we're staying in the Planet Hollywood hotel and casino. We're planning on having a spa day, taking the stripper 101 class and taking in a few shows. I'm SO excited!!! It's only going to be a few days, but OH MY GOSH, I can't even tell you how excited I am about this! Have I mentioned that I'm excited? lol

Next is a brief update to my "It's been confirmed" post. I really must remember that men are different than women. I must remember that when a man says something, that's exactly what he means. There is no secret message, no hidden meaning, no saying something, expecting the other person to pick up on subtle nuances that tell what they really mean...they just mean what they say. I also must remember that my husband loves me and would never say something that is intended to hurt my feelings. I told Drake that he hurt my feelings and explained to him why. He gave me that, "Oh sweety...you're so cute when you overreact" look that I get all too often. LOL He explained that he didn't mean that Seth didn't want me at his party, just that he wouldn't expect me to drive four hours round trip for a birthday party. Then he said that he didn't mean that I was "Just a woman with six kids," he meant that our children is what most people fixate on because there are so many of them and that as soon as people find out we have six kids, that tends to be what defines us. He wasn't saying that's all I was, just that it's what people focus on when they first find out about our kids. He said that even at work, he'll be introduced to someone and the first thing they'll say is, "Oh, you're the guy with six kids!" not, "oh, I've heard you do good work," or "I hear you're working on an interesting project, how's that going?" it's always about his six kids. We just can't get away from it because our children DO define us and people will always find our large family interesting.

In some ways that was true at the party and in some ways it wasn't. People were interested when they found out I had six kids and it was all very positive reactions. However, they also seemed genuinely interested in me as a person as well, which is unusual and I really appreciated that. I had a great time! Seth has some amazing friends who were just incredibly friendly and made sure that I didn't feel uncomfortable. After the party, I went and hung out at Seth's apartment with him and his boyfriend for a bit, then drove home. Seth had asked if I could stay over and go out for breakfast with him the next morning, but Drake had to work early in the morning, so I couldn't. :( I'm so glad I went.

Last thought for this post...Ethan is quite the comedian. The other day, in the car, Ethan asked me where we were going for dinner on his birthday. (It's a family tradition to go to the restaurant of the child's choice on their birthday) I said, "I think you want dim sum on your birthday." He asked, "You mean Chuck E. Cheese's?" I said, "No, I mean dim sum." He replied, "If by dim sum you mean Chuck E. Cheese's, then yes!" It cracked me up. A little later, he said, "Mommy, look at this!" I said, "I can't sweety, I'm driving." Again, "Look at this!" "I can't, I'm driving!" "Look at this!" I CAN'T, I'M DRIVING!!!" He said, "I'm driving too!" To which I replied, "No you're not." He came back with, "Yes I am, I'm driving you crazy!" ROFL

Just an FYI

2007-09-20T15:27:00.000-07:00

WooT!

It's been confirmed

2007-09-18T23:24:00.000-07:00

Throughout this blog I've mentioned how I feel like I'm nothing more than a mom...that I've completely lost my identity. I've mentioned how I feel like I'm no longer "Katie," just a mom. Deep down I've always hoped that wasn't true. I've always hoped that I just wasn't feeling "fulfilled" or maybe I was just bored. Surely others viewed me as "Katie," right? Surely people like me as a person and see me as a person, right? Apparently not. If you can't rely on your spouse to tell you how it is, who can you rely on...I suppose. Apparently Drake failed to show up at husband school the day the"Do these jeans make my butt look big? and other things you should never speak truthfully of" lesson was taught.

I was invited to the birthday party of a friend of mine. I consider this friend one of my closest friends. We've been friends for over 18 years. However, our lives are nothing alike. They have taken completely different paths. I was telling Drake that while I wanted to attend the party, I was afraid I would be uncomfortable because I don't know any of his friends and they aren't the type of people I usually hang out with. We talked a bit about the reasons I wanted to go and the reasons I didn't want to go. Drake said, "You'll be among all the Hollywood types," (That's where he lives and where the party is...and the business he is in) "and you'll be the woman with six kids...just like you always are."

I just sat there...shocked that he would say that. I always knew that was how I felt, but I never knew for sure that it was true. I had really hoped that I was an interesting person. I had really hoped that when I went places with Drake that his friends thought of me as a friend as well. I had really hoped that people were genuinely interested in me as a person. Apparently not though. Apparently I really am just the woman with six kids. Not even my husband thinks I can be anything more than that.

Put on your big girl panties

2007-09-07T21:01:00.001-07:00

Two separate thoughts I want to write about tonight. The first is that I bought entirely too many diapers. LOL I keep getting package after package after package in the mail. I think I should have kept track of what I was buying. I have more diapers than I know what to do with and still have eight more coming. Sadly, I didn't buy anywhere near enough covers, so I still have to buy some of those. I think I'm going to resell some of my diapers to make money to spend on covers. "Hi, my name is Katie and I'm a cloth diaper addict." I'll have to take a picture of my stash and post it once I have everything in. It's puuuuurty. I do so love getting mail. I may have a small crush on my postman. How can you NOT love the man who brings you packages? I also love my UPS lady. She makes me insanely happy. Hey, I'm a stay at home mom with no life...I must derive pleasure from the little things!

Okay, second topic...no segue or anything...very sad. Caitlin is trying to communicate with me!!!! She actually wants to talk about her life with me!!! She did it in a roundabout way, which is so totally Caitlin, but whatever...she wants me to be a part of it!!! When she got home from school today, she placed a little red purse on my computer desk, at which I was sitting. I swear I don't live in front of the computer...it just seems that way. (Oh, and by the way, I'm working on two new web sites...previews to come shortly :) ) Anyways, Caitlin places this purse on my desk and this is the conversation that ensued:

Caitlin: Don't read the stuff that's in that purse, okay?
Me: Then why did you put it on my desk?
Caitlin: It's just a place to put it. Don't read it.
Me: Okay, I won't.
Caitlin: Well, I guess you can read it if you really want to.
Me: Do you want me to read it?
Caitlin: No.
Me: Okay, I won't.
Caitlin: But if you really want to read it, I guess you can.

So, after she left, I opened the purse and read what was inside. It was love letters from a boy in her class and some drawings (I'm not sure if they were by her or him) of their initials in hearts. Too cute.

Looks like I get to go have a mommy/daughter conversation with her tonight. I remember fourth grade vividly. I remember having little "boyfriends." I remember how much it hurt, even at the age of 8 when things didn't go the way you thought they would. I remember the pangs of jealousy when he talked to another girl. It all starts way too early. I just can't believe she's already there.

We've already been over the "time line" when it comes to boys. No dating until you are 16. No boyfriends until you are 18. No marriage until you've graduated from college. No babies until you're married. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. The girls are okay with it...for now. Granted, they're only seven and eight. LOL

My kids are geeks

2007-08-30T20:13:00.001-07:00

This is the conversation we just had:

Cole: Mom, are aliens real?
Me: I don't know. I think so.
Emma: Does Daddy know if aliens are real?
Me: No, Daddy doesn't know. No one knows for sure if aliens are real.
Cole: Can you look it up on Google?
Me: Google doesn't know if aliens are real.
Emma: WHAT?!?!?!?! Google knows EVERYTHING!
Cole: If Google doesn't know, then NO ONE knows!

Shhhh...don't tell my hubby

2007-08-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

I just spent $110 on five diapers. They're REALLY cute though!

Oddly enough, I didn't mean to buy the third and fourth ones pictured. I thought I had removed them from my cart and replaced them with two other ones. I guess I didn't though. Oops.There were almost 300 people on this website when the diapers were stocked!!!! I had to act as quickly as possible to get the ones I got. In fact, I had something else in my cart that I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted, but apparently someone else wanted it as well. By the time I finished checking out, it was gone. BooHoo. :( This is what it was:

It's a wool interlock cover. My goodness I wanted that thing BADLY!

I told you it was an illness. lol

Come on people, your kids POOP in them!

2007-08-29T15:12:00.000-07:00

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but in case I haven't, we use cloth diapers. (well, not WE...I don't, but my kids that are in diapers do) So anyways, Allie is outgrowing the small diapers (the little chunky monkey that she is :D ) so I need to go buy larger diapers. They're fairly expensive new, so I try to buy them used, if possible. (They get washed...get over it!) So, anyways, I went to Diaper Swappers, which is where most people go to buy and sell used cloth diapers and started looking through their "For Sale or Trade" section. People are CRAZY when it comes to cloth diapers. I swear, if you don't email the person within MINUTES of them putting up what they have to sell, you miss out.

Now, here's the part that gets me...some people pay up to $200 for a single diaper! Come on people, your kid POOPS in these things! Yes, they're cute. Yes, they're soft. Yes, they're apbsorbant, but $200?!?!??!?! Granted, that's not the norm. They usually cost between $10-$30 for a used diaper.

The worst part of it all is that I have the desire...nay, the NEED...to buy these cute diapers. I have no idea how well they'll work, but I NEED them because they're adorable. I NEED to spend $30 on something that some OTHER kid has pooped in so that my child can poop in it. I NEED to sit at my computer stalking these online stores, just waiting for them to stock new diapers so I can buy them before some other insane diaper crazy lady beats me to it. *Refresh* *Refresh* *Refresh* YES....A NEW DIAPER HAS BEEN STOCKED!!! *Clicks on "purchase" button* DANG IT...SOMEONE ALREADY BOUGHT IT!!!!!! *Refresh* *Refresh* *Refresh* It's an illness.

It sure would be nice if my husband came home

2007-08-26T23:54:00.000-07:00

So, it's 11:53 pm on a Sunday night. Where is my husband? Why, the same place he's been until all hours of the morning/night almost every night for the past couple of weeks...at work. I swear I'm going to buy him a little futon to set up in his cubicle. Then he wouldn't even have to come home. He could just work until he fell asleep, wake up and work some more. That seems to be his intent lately anyways. :( He has a deadline looming (or it may have already passed...I'm not quite sure. He hasn't been around enough lately for me to ask him) so I understand that he needs to work until he gets it done, but that doesn't make me miss him any less. :( The other day he told me, "Now I understand why marriages don't last when one of them works this many hours." Ummmm...yeah.

I really shouldn't be complaining. My sister and sister in law both live with their husband's being away five days a week. I don't think I could do it. Or perhaps I could...it was kind of nice when Drake was traveling a lot for business. lol He'd be gone a week or two, then be home for a couple of days before leaving again. Those few days he was home were SO nice! He was SO happy to be home that the whole house just functioned better. He was the "fun" dad and there was no stress or unhappiness at all for those two to three days! With the insane hours he's been working lately though, he's so tired that when he's home and the kids are awake, he's just constantly yelling and in a bad mood. He had the "day off" on Friday (meaning he didn't go into work until about noon) and he spent the whole time we were both home complaining and being pissed off because I couldn't cuddle on the couch with him the whole time. He couldn't seem to understand that his thirty minutes of downtime didn't mean that I could have thirty minutes of downtime at the exact same time. I had lunches to make, a baby to nurse, fights to break up, kids to take care of. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with him. It was that in those thirty minutes, I just couldn't. I sat with him for as long as I could, but the family's whole life can't just stop because he decides to be home for thirty minutes.

When he comes home at night/in the morning, he's so tired that he just falls asleep, then wakes up a few hours later, goes back to work and starts it all over again. He actually did stay home yesterday. We took the kids to tae kwon do, then he was supposed to take the kids swimming. He promised the kids a "super fun day," and he promptly fell asleep after getting home from tae kwon do. This left me to deal with kids who are stuck at home, disappointed because yet again they don't get to spend time with their dad, and being yelled at because he's trying to sleep on the couch and they're being...well, they're being kids and talking/laughing/screaming, etc. Here they were expecting to spend some quality time with him and have a "super fun day," and instead, they just got an even more upset than usual dad who they felt would rather sleep than spend the very little time that he was actually home, with them. To his credit, he did eventually wake up and take them swimming for a couple of hours. They LOVED it. He even stayed up late to spend some time with me after the kids went to bed. Unfortunately, after a long day of rowdier than normal kids and a baby who kept me up much of the night before, I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. If our marriage survives this, it will be stronger because of it.

Oh the joys of a two year old

2007-08-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

My incredible GIFTED two year old learned a fun new game today! She picks her nose, then chases her siblings all over the house, threatening to wipe her boogers on them.

Do you want to know what makes me insanely happy?

2007-08-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

A refrigerator and pantry full of nutritious, yummy food! We went shopping for the week yesterday. Since then, I've stood in front of the refrigerator, just looking at it's contents at least three times. Yes, I'm strange. lol It just makes me happy to be able to provide delicious, nutritious food for my kids. I also like to sit down and read the ingredients on different items. For instance (so you can have a small glimpse of my happiness lol) the raisin bread we bought:

organic sprouted whole grain wheat
filtered water
organic raisins
organic sprouted whole grain barley
organic whole grain millet
organic malted barley
sprouted whole lentils
organic sprouted whole soybeans
organic sprouted whole grain spelt
fresh yeast
sea salt
organic cinnamon

It makes me happy to know that I'm putting such good things into my kid's bodies. Food is one of the things that I provide for them that has the biggest impact on their lives. It makes me feel good to know that my good choices not only directly influence their bodies now, but influence the choices they will make in the future. If a child is used to eating healthy foods, there's a good chance they will continue that way of eating later in life.

I also bought a TON of Lara bars for their lunches. I know I've mentioned them before, but they're totally worth a second mention. lol These things are SO good! The girls LOVE the cherry pie version.

While I'm talking about bars that are good for you, let me HIGHLY recommend the Greens+ Natural Energy Bar. Heres the ingredient list:

Organic dates
organic almond butter
organic quinoa sprout powder
gmo-free soy protein isolate
original Greens+ powder ( gmo-free soy lecithin, Hawaiian Spirulina, organic apple fiber, organic barley grass, organic wheat grass, Japanese chlorella, hydroponic soy sprouts, organic brown rice bran, sprouted barley malt, alfalfa grass, royal jelly, montana bee powder, acerola berry juice, natural vitamin E, licorice root powder, milk thistle seed extract, echinacea root extract, Siberian eleuthero root extract, astragalus root extract, licorice root extract, organic red beet juice, dunaliella salina algae, organic Nova Scotia Dulse, organic ginkgo biloba leaf extract, organic Japanese green tea extract, grape seed and skin exract, organic Swedish bilberry extract)
organic brown rice crisps
organic honey
natural mixed tocopherols (Vitamin E)

Okay, so you're probably looking at that list of ingredients and thinking. "Ewwwwww," but I PROMISE it's YUMMY! Just don't look at it before you eat it. It's an ugly, unappetizing, greenish brown color. lol

I usually use sprouts on the sandwiches I make Drake for lunch, but I bought some organic micro greens and they are SO good! I definitely think I'll be going with the micro greens from now on.

Oh, and the BEST FIND OF ALL yesterday...the salad I've been looking for for YEARS!!!! It's a spinach salad with cranberries, candied pecans and a raspberry vinegerette. Oh my goodness, it is TO DIE FOR! YUM! I first had it at a wedding shower a few years back. I haven't been able to find it anywhere...until yesterday! I rarely purchase things premade, but I did splurge and purchase the premade salad...and I don't feel a bit guilty about it! lol

So, now my fridge is once again full of yummy deliciousness...pineapple, cucumbers, kale, spinach, salad, bread (you have to refrigerate the raisin bread because it has no preservatives) oranges, mangoes, kiwi, plums, apricots, nectarines, peaches, apples, organic milk, micro greens, hummus (to go on the nan and whole wheat pita bread I bought) cabbage, green onions, green bell peppers, red bell peppers...whew...you name it, we've pretty much got it. LOL Oh, and let me tell you how proud I am of my children. (This goes along with the "if you feed them good food, they'll make good choices on their own" thought) I told the kids they could pick their own cereal. Each of them got to pick one. Did they go for the Fruity Pebbles? The Fruit Loops? The Lucky Charms? Nope! Caitlin picked out Kashi Strawbery Fields. Emma picked out Kashi Go Lean Crunch. Cole picked out Cranberry Almond Clusters, and they're all eating them and loving them!

Anyways, yes, I realize I'm a bit strange, but hey, there are worse things that could make me happy, right?

Wow, that last one was long

2007-08-15T12:38:00.000-07:00

Since that last post was so long, I feel the need to make a short and sweet post. So, I'm stealing a survey from Sean.

What is your favorite color? grey and azure

What is your favorite food? sushi...yum. Did I mention Yum?? Oh my goodness...YUM!

Do you have any pets? Not anymore. We're planning on getting a dog when we have a place of our own though.

If you could be any where right now where would you be? I wouldn't mind being on a cruise with Tracey.

What's a wild thing you have done? Bungee jumped. I'm so boring.

Do you have a nickname? Mom

What's a pet peeve of yours? BYU-Idaho Honor Code (AMEN, Sean! LOL) No really though, I can't stand people lying to me. Oh, and when my kids smear their poopy diapers all over the place...yeah, I'm not too fond of that either.

What's the name of your bff? Drake. (I'm such a sappy dork)

What's your favorite song? Bitch by Meredith Brooks

What's one of your talents? I'm pretty good at making babies

What's a long term goal of yours? Travel...most specifically, Greece, Venice and NYC

What's your favorite movie? Untamed Heart and Mad Love

What type of car do you drive? Honda Odyssey...it's so cool, the back doors open by remote. Awesome!

Have you ever been in love? yes

What's something your would like to do more of? vacation

What's something you would like to learn? Japanese

What's one thing you look for in someone you want to date? someone who doesn't mind that I have a husband

What is something you are good at? loyalty

What is something you are bad at? cleaning

What's your favorite book? I don't have one

What is one thing you have accomplished that you are proud of? I have these six amazing little creatures that call me Mom. That's pretty cool.

What is something you hold dear to you? My family

What's your favorite past time? reading

Would you rather be hot or cold? cold

What's your lucky number? I don't have one. I like the number 13 though. I was born on Friday the 13th.

Random funnies from the past

2007-08-14T00:45:00.000-07:00

So as not to scare off any people who don't have children now and make them think the NEVER want to have kids, I thought I'd post a few things that make me laugh.

From September 19, 2005:
So, I finally had a moment of peace and quiet. Ethan and Sera were in bed, the older girls were at school and Cole was in his room watching television. So, I decided to do some dishes. Cole came downstairs and said, "Ethan was wearing your glasses." So, I go upstairs to put him back to bed and this is what I found:

The mess:

The culprit:

Yes folks, he not only took the sheet off of his bed, but he BROKE the bed and poured an entire LARGE container of formula on it and on himself. I think he must have been rolling in it. It is interesting to note that Cole thought the worst thing...the one worth telling me about...was that Ethan was wearing my glasses. Sigh...just when I think I start understanding how their minds work.

Okay, so that's something that I laugh about now. It wasn't so funny at the time.

I enjoy taking pictures of things that make me SO mad at the moment with the idea that I will laugh about it someday. Here's another one.

Ethan got fingerpaints for Christmas. They were stored in my bedroom closet. He was supposed to be taking a nap in his room...

"Uh oh...I'm in big trouble."

*thinks to himself "Maybe I can play it off."* "Hmmmm...that's strange...how did that get there?"

"Sweet...Moms taking pictures. She must not be mad! That was fun!"

"What do you mean you're throwing the paint away?"

Okay, so the first and last picture are the same, but I didn't get one of him crying when I threw the stuff away.

As you can see, Ethan was the one who got/gets into everything. It was an interesting couple of years until he figure out he shouldn't do that. If it could be poured out, it was poured out. If it could be smeared, it was smeared. If it could be broken, it was broken.

I'm bummed...I can't find the pictures of when Caitlin cut Emma's hair. That was a fun day! Heidi (my sister) had to basically give Emma a pixie cut to correct the mess that Caitlin left on Emma's head. She still had bald spots that we had to color in with eyeliner. LOL

Yep, I can laugh about them now. I'm glad I took the pictures.

As an update to my previous post, Caitlin and I sat down and talked abut the things that she was feeling, how her letter made me feel and what we could both do to make things better in our home. I've agreed to be better about saying please and thank you when I ask her to do things she's not normally expected to do, and she's agreed to do the things she's expected to do, without me telling her to do them and if I have to remind her, she'll just do them without complaint. We both agreed that a later bedtime wasn't a good idea. We've decided to start back up the family journal that we used to have going. It's a notebook that all of us can write in and read each day. If we're having problems, we can write them in the journal. It's a way to keep the lines of communication open even if we don't feel like sitting down and talking about it. I'm hoping this will continue even as the girls get older and they feel they can write about the issues they're having in life even if they're uncomfortable talking to me about them. I figure that eventually each child will start keeping their own journal that we can write back and forth in so their siblings don't read what the others are writing.

I know that as a teenager, I had things I would have liked to talk to my mom about, but I was uncomfortable bringing them up. I could never figure out the proper time or setting to say, "Hey Mom, I had a huge fight with one of my friends. How should I go about apologizing even though I don't think I was wrong?" or, "Mom, my friend's dad beats her up and does horrible things to her. She's asked me not to tell anyone, but I really think something needs to be done about it," or, "My boyfriend broke up with me for another girl. I feel completely lost, used, and heartbroken. What did I do wrong?" I can remember the times that I did sit down with my mom and tell her about things going on in my life and lo and behold, she actually had really good advice. LOL I can remember one time in specific where I was feeling really down. At this point in time, I was really big on inspirational quotes and poems. I had them hanging all over my room. I don't remember which guy had broken up with me (as I'm sure that was the case...I swear all my teenage drama revolved around guys!) but I had talked to my mom about how rejected I was feeling and how ugly I felt and how unhappy I was. The next morning, I had a new poem hanging on my wall. My mom had put it there while I was sleeping. It read:

"After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company isn't security.
(Kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.)

After awhile you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain
and the inevitable has a way of crumbling in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you stand too long in one place.

So, you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.
And you learn you really can endure,
that you really do have worth.
And with every goodbye, you learn.

She got me up early that morning, gave me some expensive shampoo and conditioner and told me to take my time getting ready...to do my hair and makeup rather than just throwing it up in a ponytail (which I had been doing since I was feeling so down) and to be ready to face the day with my head up and feeling good about myself. She told me that when you take the time to look good on the outside, you can't help but feel better on the inside. When I was done getting ready, she sat down with me and told me that she wanted me to stop looking in the mirror and start looking out the window. She challenged me to focus on making others happy, rather than focus on how unhappy I was and she promised me that if I did that, that I would find happiness with myself. She couldn't have been more right. That day, I went out and focused on how I could make my friends happy and turning their happiness into my own. I came home that day with such a different outlook on life. To this day, when I'm unhappy and feeling down, I remember what my mom told me and get up, get dressed, take the time to make myself look nice and go out and find ways to make other people happy.

Anyways, now that I've gone off on a tangent, I'll get back to what I was originally posting about. I told Caitlin that I was really glad that she felt like she could express her feelings to me and that I hoped she always felt like she could talk to me about anything she was feeling or going through in life and that letter writing, or writing in the family journal was a wonderful way to talk to me about things she wasn't comfortable actually talking to me about. One of the things I want the most when my girls are teenagers are for them to feel comfortable talking to me about their lives. I want to know what's going on, even if they think I won't approve. I don't want my girls to be like I was...always hiding things from my parents because I didn't want to disappoint them, or feeling like my parents had no business knowing my business. All that did was hurt both my parents and me. I wish I had been more open with my parents. It turns out they actually did know what they were talking about and really did want the best for me. ;)

Being a mom is hard work!

2007-08-03T23:18:00.000-07:00

You know, there are times when I look at my kids and all of the wonderful things they do and have accomplished and I'm so "well pleased." I have heard SO many times, "Your kids are SO well behaved!" and "Wow, if I didn't see them, I would have NEVER known there were so many kids here!" and "I don't know how you do it...I can barely control my two and you have SIX and they're just angels!" I love those comments. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right. *breathes on and shines her perfect mommy badge*

Then, there are times like tonight where I wondered where I went wrong. Caitlin is very...ummm...how do I put this...strong willed. She can be SUCH a good kid. There are times when she makes me SO happy. However, OH MY GOSH...that child makes me want to tear my hair out more than anyone else! I don't know how I raised such a rude, disrespectful, angry child. Is it because she was my first and I've learned as I've gone along? Is it just her personality? WHAT IS IT?!??!?! I want to know so none of my other kids act the way she does at times! I'm SO grateful she seems to save it all for home though. All I ever hear from her teachers is how wonderful she is and how helpful she is and how well she gets along with other kids.

Anyways, so what brings this up? I asked Caitlin two days ago to take a shower. She didn't do it. I asked her yesterday to take a shower. She didn't do it. I asked her to wake up early this morning and take a shower before school. She didn't do it. So, tonight I TOLD her to take a shower. She told me she didn't want to...that she wanted to spend time with Drake since he was home and she feels like she barely gets to see him. I told her she HAD to take a shower. How did she respond? She screamed at me that I was being unfair. She stomped up the stairs and yelled that her life sucks. She screamed that everyone hates her and that she wishes she wasn't a part of our family. I told her that I didn't want to hear it and that instead of shower, she had to go to bed.

I came upstairs to put the rest of the kids to bed and found a letter on Caitlin's door. This is what it said:

Date: August 3, 2007
Today: Saturday
Subject: Parents
Slogen: Hard Work
Feeling: Mad

I hate you Katie and Drake!! I wish if you said please and thank you. Let's make new rule of anytime you ask someone to do something say please and thank you! Yes or No (Circle)
I think it's not fair that when it's a stressful day that I or any other kids have to take a shower at night! After school when webarely ever get to see you! Plus we think we're getting to be big kids and be able to go to bed until 9:45 or 9:33. Last but not least the things we get we would like to use them. For an example Emma and me got the Techno Robot sometimes we clear off the table so we can do it and you say no not today then you never even open it.
Thank you.

So, she's obviously mad because I didn't say "please" when I told her to go take a shower. I would have said please if I was asking her to take a shower. I wasn't. I was telling her to. This Techno Robot thing she's talking about is something my MIL bought them when they were in Hawaii. It has a ton of little pieces and it's something that needs a lot of parental supervision and needs Sera to be in bed before they can do it because she'll get into it and scatter it everywhere. She's right in that it's been a while (almost two weeks) since they got it and I haven't sat down with them to help them. There just hasn't been a good time. I've explained this to her.

'm trying to understand that she is just trying to voice her frustrations and talk to me about the things that are bothering her, which I want to encourage. I want her to feel like she can talk to me about things that are bothering her so we can come up with a solution that works for everyone involved. Drake and I have always told her that if she feels that we are being unfair about something or if she feels like something isn't working in our family, that she needs to tell us and we'll talk about things and figure out what needs to be changed, or we'll try to explain to her why things are the way they are and why they won't be changing.

However, when she writes me this hostile letter, it's difficult to be understanding. Personally, I'd like to just ground her for the rest of the school year and show her how I can really make her life "suck." (She KNOWS how much I hate that word!!!!) The letter wouldn't have bothered me all that much if it hadn't started with "I hate you Katie and Drake!!"

I want to come up with a way to talk to her about things, explain why things are the way they are and talk about what things we can both work on without her thinking that her letter was an acceptable way of communicating her frustration with me. I don't want her to think that what she did is a good way of getting the results she's looking for. However, I do want to encourage her to let me know what's bothering her and I want her to realize that I think her feelings are valid and worth talking about. I just don't know where the happy medium is.

I'm thinking I'll just leave a note for her telling her that I understand that she is upset, but some of the things she wrote were completely unacceptable and when she's ready to apologize and talk with me calmly and nicely about things, I'll be here to talk to her.

Caitlin has always been my "difficult" child. She just doesn't seem to have that "This probably isn't a good idea" filter. I've talked to her SO many times, asking her, "WHY did you do that?" She honestly doesn't seem to know. She says that her brain tells her to do something and she just does it. I ask her if she knows it's wrong. She says she does, but she doesn't think about it being wrong before she does it. She also doesn't seem to have that "I shouldn't be saying this" filter, either. Every thought that enters her head comes out of her mouth. Argh...it's all just so frustrating.

There are times that I really question my decision to be a mom when it comes to her. Did I bring about this behavior? Was it the way I raised her? Did I create this in her? Shouldn't I be able to mold and shape her behavior and personality? Shouldn't I be able to teach her what is acceptable and not acceptable and actually have her listen and do it? If I can't raise her in the way that she should go and to be the kind of person she should be, should I even be a mom? Am I potentially ruining her life? I'm responsible for the way she turns out. This is a HUGE responsibility. Am I screwing it up? Is she going to grow up and think that I was a terrible mom and that her life is harder than it had to be because I was her mom? I want to be a good mom. No, I take that back...I want to be a GREAT mom. I want my kids to think as highly of me as my siblings and me think of our mom. I don't know what I'm doing. I feel so incredibly inadequate. There are times that I think I'm doing so poorly at this whole mom thing that I just want to sit and cry and apologize to my children that they are stuck with me. Time to hand back that shiny perfect Mommy badge.

I do feel the need to balance out this post with some wonderful things about Caitlin. She truly is an amazing person. Her teacher gave the parents a homework assignment. It was to write a letter about our child. She wanted to know their areas of strength, areas of weakness, special things about them, etc. This is what I wrote:

Mrs. Szentesi,

Caitlin Silva is my daughter. She is my eldest and such a joy in my life. Caitlin is one of six children, and as the eldest has had to accept many responsibilities that I think few children of her age have had to take on. She consistently amazes me with the things she is capable of doing. She is always quick to help and usually does so without complaint. She is someone that you know you can count on to help you out, even if she would rather not, because it makes her happy to help others and because she feels it’s the right thing to do.

One of the qualities that I admire the most in Caitlin is her ability to speak her mind. While at times, as a mother, I find this incredibly frustrating, it pleases me to no end that she is confident enough in herself and her thoughts to say the things she is thinking and feeling. There are times that she says things that would be better off kept to herself and times when she can come off as disrespectful when she disagrees with you and lets you know it, but, for the most part, she has discovered how to voice her opinion without being overbearing and can do so with tact.

Socially, Caitlin is very adaptable. She can take on a leadership role if that is the position she feels she needs to fill, but is also able to step back and let others lead if she feels that will be more beneficial. She isn’t one, however, to stand back and let others lead in a way that she feels they shouldn’t be. Last year, she was involved in a “dance club” with some of her friends at recess time. The leaders of the club would teach the club members new dance moves each time they met together. One day, they taught the club moves that Caitlin felt were inappropriate for children to be doing. She spoke up and told them that she felt the moves were inappropriate and that she didn’t want to do them. They told her that if she didn’t, she wasn’t welcome in their club anymore. While she realized she could possibly lose friends, she still chose to leave the club rather than do something she felt she shouldn’t be doing. She came home in tears over the loss of her friends, but confident in her decision.

Caitlin is a very easy going person and is flexible and open to change. She embraces new experiences and is excited to learn new things. However, if she finds something difficult, she would rather ignore it than work her way through it. For example, last year she was supposed to memorize her multiplication facts. This didn’t come easy to her, so she just gave up and chose to not work on it. I think that most things come rather easily to her, so she hasn’t learned how to respond to things that are difficult for her. We have been working on this at home and plan to continue doing so.

My hope for Caitlin this year is that she will learn how to learn. I think this is something she really needs to want to do for herself for it to come about. I would like her to want to learn the things that are difficult for her and for her to strive to feel the sense of accomplishment that comes with learning them, rather than getting discouraged and choosing to not work on them at all because it’s the easy thing to do.

My goal for myself this year is to be more actively involved in Caitlin’s schooling. I think that I often take for granted the fact that she is so independent and capable of doing almost everything that is asked of her and that makes it easy for me to let her do everything on her own…from homework, to remembering important dates and events. I often put more on her than she should be expected to take on and I need to actively remember that, while she’s an amazing child, she’s still a child that needs her mom to help keep her organized and to make sure she stays on track. I can’t let my being busy with the other kids be an excuse not to take the time to sit down with Caitlin each day and make sure we both know everything that is going on.

I hope that you enjoy having Caitlin in your class as much as I enjoy having her at home. She truly is a special child with some amazing and admirable qualities.

Sincerely,
Katie Silva

Pretty in Pink

2007-08-01T21:01:00.001-07:00

Want to see the most beautiful little five week old? You know you do!

There she is! I can't believe she's already five weeks old! She's gotten SO much bigger in the last few weeks. It's absolutely amazing to watch them grow. She's smiling now, which absolutely melts my heart. She has me wrapped around her adorable tiny little finger. I'm so in love.

Fourth Grade!

2007-07-29T23:41:00.000-07:00

Caitlin started school last Thursday. She had such a great day at school! There was only one minor snag in the whole day. I went to pick her up at the bus stop after school and wouldn't you know it...all the kids got off, the bus left, and there was no Caitlin! Thankfully, I had driven to pick her up, rather than walk with all five kids (which is what I had originally planned on doing), so I was able to just hop back in the car and drive to school, figuring she had missed the bus. Apparently I hadn't told her that she was supposed to take the bus home. I had assumed that she just knew she was supposed to since she took the bus to school in the morning. She did exactly what she should have done though. I've always told her that if you're not sure where to go or if you're lost, you should just stay right where you are because chances are, I'm looking for you and I'm going to check the last place that I knew you were. That's all cleared up now and she's enjoying being a fourth grader!

Here are some pictures from before she left for her first day:

Isn't she so pretty? It's hard to imagine that this beautiful girl is the baby I got pregnant with right out of highschool. I think back to how scared I was...how hard it was to call my mom and tell her I was pregnant...how awful I felt calling Drake (who was still in highschool) and telling him that he was going to be a dad and that I understood if he wanted to back out and that I was okay with him telling me he didn't want to have any part in it...how heartbroken I was when I got kicked out of school. I think back to how terrified I was at the thought of having the responsibility to raise another human being...how scared I was of messing up...how completely unprepared and underqualified I felt to have such an awesome responsibility. Now, look at her. She's absolutely amazing. Yeah...I did that. ;)

Missing them

2007-07-25T17:21:00.000-07:00

Caitlin and Emma left for Hawaii last Monday. They went with my mother in law. (My mother and father in law live in Hawaii) She came to pick them up, then took them back to Hawaii with her. She's bringing them back tonight!!!

I thought I'd enjoy the break, but I found that I just missed them terribly. The house has been a lot quieter and there has been a LOT less fighting, arguing and kids getting in trouble, but such is the spice of life. It's been nice how peaceful our house has been, but it's been a bit boring. lol

Caitlin starts school tomorrow. She is in a magnet school, so she has an extra three weeks of school over the traditional public school. We had to buy all of her school clothes while she was in Hawaii. I hope she likes them. She can be incredibly hard to please. She told me that she wanted "uniform" clothes, so I got her some khakis, some polos, some button up shirts, etc. I still need to get her another pair of shoes.

I can't believe that Cole is starting Kindergarten this year! Oh my goodness, am I really old enough to have THREE kids in school? Caitlin is starting FOURTH grade! I remember fourth grade. That's the year I moved from Fremont to San Lorenzo. Is she really that old? I can't believe time has flown by so quickly. Emma is starting second grade. She's such a big kid now. It's all just going by way too quickly for my liking. Drake and I were actually discussing, "When our kids start dating..." OH MY GOSH...DATING?!?!??!?!? I want to think that's REALLY far off, but really, it isn't. I'm not ready for them to continue growing up!

So in love

2007-07-03T00:29:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, June 26th, 2007 at 11:14 pm, my beautiful baby girl came into this world. Allison Gayle Kaleilehualauli`i Silva weighed 8 lbs. 2 oz and was 19.75 inches long. She's absolutely perfect! Here she is, six days old.

Who says we have to be strong?

2007-06-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have just been a whirlwind of emotions. Isaac's funeral was beautiful. So many people showed up to support him. There were times when the sting of people thinking we aren't family were a bit much. I felt an incredible amount of anger when everyone who wasn't immediate family was asked to leave the viewing area so we could have a family prayer and the woman sitting behind me asked her husband, "Should we leave?" and he responded, "No, he's our nephew...we get to stay. Those people in front of us (which was me, Drake, my sister and my brother in law) are just friends." It took all of my self control to keep from turning around and saying something to them, but I just sat there, where I belonged, grieving the loss of my little brother with the rest of his family. The service was wonderful. His older sister gave a very nice eulogy, Taleisha's tribute was heartwrenching and so full of emotion and love, Jay gave a wonderful tribute and reminded us that we all need to continue living as Isaac would want us to and Katrina had us all in tears with her beautiful memories and intense love for Isaac. All in all, it went a lot better than I think many people expected, for which I'm extremely grateful. It was the service he deserved.

As for me, I've had such varied emotions through it all. When my mom first called and told me that Isaac had been killed, I didn't know how to react. It didn't seem real. It didn't seem like it could actually be true. These things happen to other people. I cried, because I was upset about what I was being told, but I felt as though it was unfair of me to cry to my mom because she was being strong and she was the one who was having to call everyone to tell them what had happened and it was her son who had been killed.

My friend called me to express her condolences. It felt wrong to cry to her. She barely knew him. She was hurting for me. I didn't want to make things harder for her because it wasn't her burden to bear.

Drake held me when I told him what had happened. He told me it was okay to cry. He told me it was okay to fall apart. He told me I didn't need to be strong in front of him. I couldn't do it. He was being strong for me. I felt as though it was unfair to ask him to be strong for me, but not be the same for him.

My kids all cried. They mourned the loss of their uncle. They grieved over the time they will never be able to spend with him. I had to be strong for them. I couldn't let them see me cry. The last thing I wanted was to give them another reason to be sad.

So, with all of that, when did I get a chance to fall apart? It came at the oddest times. I went to buy a pair of shoes to wear to the funeral. I had a dress, but didn't have a pair of shoes that matched. I was in an area that I didn't know very well. I got lost trying to find the shoe store. I cried. I finally found a different store and went and looked at shoes. I couldn't find a pair that I liked. I completely lost it in the store, sobbing because I couldn't find a pair of shoes to match my dress. I found a cute pair of shoes and decided to find a dress to match the shoes instead of finding a pair of shoes to match the dress I already had. I found a dress. It fit great, the shoes looked great with it. I then realized that my purse didn't match at all. I cried. I bought a new purse. I left the store. When I got to the car, I realized I had forgotten to buy a pair of sunglasses. I sat in the car and sobbed. I knew my crying had absolutely nothing to do with the dress, the shoes, the purse, or the sunglasses, but I felt like it was okay to cry over those things, but not over losing my little brother.

We were late getting out of the house for the funeral. It was a two hour drive. We hit traffic. I cried. I wasn't sure if we were going the right way. I blamed Drake. He had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I was unprepared and didn't know if I was going the right way. I knew we'd get there. I knew we had time. Still though, I was angry. I know the anger was misdirected, but it was okay to be angry at Drake over something that he had absolutely no control over, but not okay to be angry over the fact that my little brother was taken from us.

We got to the funeral. My little sister spoke. She stood up there, sobbing, grieving the loss of her brother, and I cried. Yet, I felt guilty for crying. I did my best to hold back. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't making anyone feel worse than they already were. I didn't want her to look down and see me crying.

Why do we feel the need to be strong? Why do we feel that it's our duty to make everyone else feel better when all we want to do is curl up in a ball, block everyone out and suffer in our own grief? Is it really better to put on a front than to allow ourselves to fully feel the emotions we're feeling? Why is it more acceptable to cry over a pair of shoes than it is to cry over the death of a loved one? Am I the only one who does this?

Absolutely heartbroken

2007-05-23T14:27:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here, trying to find the proper words to convey the things I'm feeling, but I'm at a complete loss. I've sat here, multiple times a day since Sunday, just trying to figure out what to write and how to write it, only to erase everything and leave the computer, no closer to understanding how I'm feeling or knowing how to write it all out than I was on Sunday when I first heard the devestating news. I don't even want to type it out. I don't want it to be real. I want to get a phone call that says, "They were wrong...it wasn't him afterall!" but the phone call never comes. Instead, I'm just left with the realization and the heartache of knowing that my little brother is dead...that some person took it upon themselves to decide that his life was no longer worth living. What the hell do they know? Who the hell are they to make that decision?

I am so full of anger. I'm angry at the people who did this to him. I'm angry at the people who know who did this to him and are choosing not to come forward to the police. I'm angry at myself for not doing more for him. I'm angry at people who choose to take this time of grief and use it to tear other people apart.

I'm so full of guilt. I feel guilty that I moved so far away and wasn't able to see him very often. I feel guilty because for so long I felt like I should ask him to move down to San Diego with us and give him a place to live, help him get into college, etc., but I never asked. I feel guilty because when I did see him, I didn't hug him enough...I didn't try hard enough to let him know just how much I love him...I didn't tell him how much I wanted him to come home.

I'm so full of heartache. I'm absolutely torn to pieces over his death. There are times I can't even think straight because the grief is so great. I'm heartbroken for my kids, who are too young to remember all the times their uncle played with them, throwing them around on the trampoline, throwing them up in the air, giving them hugs, laughing at them when they fell down. I'm heartbroken because they won't have the wonderful memories that I have of him. It hurts to see my older daughters cry, saying how sad they are that they have so few memories of him and now won't be able to make anymore.

I'm heartbroken for my little sisters, Taleisha and Chelsie...who have been through way too much in their short years. I can't imagine the pain they must be feeling after losing so many people in their lives, and now having to deal with all of the family politics that come into play with a death and having to realize, at way too young of an age, that death brings out the ugliness in so many people, when all they should be having to deal with is their own grief.

Finally, I'm just heartbroken for my mom. She lost her child. No mother should have to deal with the death of a child...especially not one so young. She has been his mom since he was ten years old. I actually remember the first time I heard him call her mom. I can remember seeing her eyes light up as she responded, "Yes, Isaac?" I know that at that point in time, it couldn't have been easy for him to call her mom. He had just lost his mom. However, in no time at all, it was as though we had all been family forever. He loved her as his mom and she loved and cherished him as her child. No one can ever take that away from her. His death has just reaffirmed the strength and bond of our family.

I've been seeing pictures of Isaac on the myspace pages of some of his family members. They honestly make me laugh a little. He looks so tough. He has this "Don't mess with me," attitude, but my goodness, I know the person he was inside. He's the person who my kids loved to play with. He's the little boy with the infectious laugh and the huge smile. He's the kid who constantly had bumps bruises and scrapes from being a crazy kid. He's the guy, who no matter what he was going through in life, could show up at home and calm all of our fears that he might have changed. He was Isaac...my little brother and I miss him like crazy.

From the mouths of babes

2007-05-11T21:46:00.000-07:00

So, tonight, the kids were talking to eachother, asking, "What should we make mommy for breakfast on mother's day?" Ethan said, "I know! We can get her a fruit and yogurt parfait from McDonalds!" Caitlin, the ever practical one, asks, "How will we get there?" Ethan says, "Mommy can drive us!" Me, overhearing the conversation, says jokingly, "Yeah, then I can come home, get back in bed and pretend to be all surprised when you bring me breakfast in bed!" Ethan...completely seriously...says, "No, that would be stupid."

Time for a mommy brag!

2007-05-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know every mom tends to think, "Wow, my child's GIFTED, I'm tellin' ya!" at some point or another...whether it be their child speaking in complete sentences, coming in first place at tae kwon do tournaments, or whatever. So, I suppose it will come as no shock when I tell you, "My child is GIFTED, I'm tellin' ya!"

Case and point: Cole has really been into numbers lately. (He just turned five, by the way) He's always counting, adding things up, etc. He's been working really hard on his addition and is just starting to work on subtraction. (Last night he asked about how to subtract a bigger number from a smaller number and is absolutely fascinated by negative numbers now. lol) This morning, in the car, he says, "I know what 18 plus 18 is." This isn't surprising...he can add pretty much anything these days. I asked him, "Okay, what is 18 plus 18?" He said, "36!" "Very good, Cole, that's right!" He then comes up with, "I know what 9 times 4 is." I was a bit taken aback because we haven't worked on multiplication at all. I asked him, "What is 9 times 4?" "36! Because 9 plus 9 is 18, and18 plus 18 is 36, so you have four nines in 18 plus 18, so 4 9's is 36!" I asked him, "Okay, so if 9 times 4 is 36, what is 4 times 9?" "Nine fours is the same as four nines, so it's 36!" I was absolutely shocked! I had no idea he knew this stuff!

Yes, my friends, my child is GIFTED, I'm tellin' ya!

Another one bites the dust

2007-05-02T18:29:00.000-07:00

Asthma victim numero dos:

I'm a raging, hormonal lunatic!

2007-04-23T15:33:00.000-07:00

OMG, someone lock me in a closet. I hate it when I get to the point that I realize I'm being totally irrational and overreacting to every little thing and can't seem to stop myself! There are many wonderful things about being pregnant (at least I tell myself there are because so many other women seem to LOVE being pregnant) this is definitely NOT one of them!

My poor kids. They're really great kids. For the most part, they listen, they clean, they get along with eachother, they entertain themselves, etc. Of course, they're kids, so there are times that they don't listen, they don't clean, they don't get along with eachother and they can't find anything to entertain themselves. They're kids...it's expected. I'm usually fairly patient and make a lot of allowances for the fact that they're kids. Of course, they're told what is to be expected and they hear it when they don't do what is expected of them, but really, they're good kids, so I try not to get on their case so much when they slip up. That isn't the case when I'm a raging, hormonal pregnant woman! Oh my goodness...I do NOT like the person I can be at times. I'll find myself yelling at them for doing (or, at times, not doing) the smallest things.

Ethan is three. He gets distracted easily (as all three year olds do). I asked him to pick the pillows up off of the ground (the kids had a slumber party in the living room last night) and put them on the couch. He picked one up, put it on the couch, then got distracted by a water bottle. I told him to put the water bottle down and pick up the pillows. He grabbed another pillow, got distracted by the water bottle again, dropped the pillow on the ground, then played with the water bottle. I told him (in a bit louder voice) to throw the water bottle away and pick up the pillows. He didn't even pretend to start picking up pillows...he just continued playing with the water bottle. I just lost it and started yelling. I HATE yelling. I try SO hard not to do it, but when I'm pregnant it seems that "REALLY loud" is almost my usual voice. :(

Ugh, I just HATE that I lose my temper so easily these days...and over stupid, little things. I have seemingly zero patience and I HATE that! Ugh...I can't wait to have this baby!

Happy Birthday to ME!

2007-04-13T12:14:00.000-07:00

Twenty eight years old...ick. Another year closer to thirty. I swear I don't feel old enough to be 28. One of these days I actually plan to feel my age. lol

Anyways, today is a fairly uneventful day. I had a prenatal appointment this morning, which went well. You can read about it in my baby blahg if you want to. Drake stayed home with the kids while I went, so I was able to spend a little bit of time with him after I got home. :) It was nice to be able to just sit around with him. We got to enjoy some time just chatting, talking about the kids, making some plans for the near future, etc. It was really nice. We don't get much (okay, any) time to just sit around and chat, so it was time very well spent. Granted, it was only like fifteen minutes, but hey, I'll take every minute I can get.

The boys sang me happy birthday just now. They're so dang cute. They also gave me a pretend cake to blow out pretend candles on. lol It's unbelievable how much I love these kids. They are my world. I would be so lost without them.

Last night, on the way home from Costco, we passed by this really cute car. It was a BMW 6 series. I told Drake, "If I were single and had no kids, I'd have a car like that." He said, "I'd have an Audi." I said, "No, I think I'd have my Jaguar XK8...yeah...that's more like it...an expensive, gorgeous convertable." It made me think about how different my life would be if I wasn't married and didn't have all these kids. I'd SO much rather drive my huge honkin' minivan full of loud, messy kids that drive me insane daily than drive a gorgeous, sleek convertable jag, live on my own and feel like I'm missing out not having the family I always wanted. I'm so incredibly blessed to have such an incredible family, amazing kids that remind me how lucky I am on a daily basis and a husband that loves me more than anything in the world. I've been very blessed and I wouldn't trade what I have for anything.

I guess today has really been a day of reflecting. There are a lot of times that I feel like maybe I made a mistake in getting married so young...that maybe having more kids than I know what to do with was a bad idea lol, that things would be SO much better if only... You get the idea. Really though, my life is pretty much perfect. It is what I make of it and I get only what I take out of it. Things aren't always great. There are times that I just want to run away from it all and start all over. There are times that I think I just can't handle any more and I feel like I'm doing everything all wrong. However, there are times like today, when my boys bring me a pretend cake with pretend candles and I remember why it is I do what I do...why I can't give up...why I CAN and WILL take everything that is thrown at me and try to do so with grace, strength and with a smile in my heart. It's because I've been given SO much goodness in my life. The bad is NOTHING compared to the joy I have in my life.

STOP THE PRESSES!!!

2007-03-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

My brilliant 22 month old just said her first complete sentence!!! Okay, so she's said things like, "love you," and "want that," and "pick up please," but today, she said something to Drake in the car. He thought she was asking him to hand her this little light thing she wanted. He handed it to her and she said...are you ready for this? She said, "No, turn on, I say!" Yes, that's right, my child's a genius. ;) Drake turned it on, handed it back to her and she said, "Thank you, Daddy." (that's not a new one) I love having kids.

Wheel of Fortune

2007-03-26T10:13:00.000-07:00

I watched Wheel of Fortune on Saturday and totally forgot to blahg about it! I know, you're probably thinking, "Ummmm, you don't need to blahg about every television show you watch...least of all Wheel of Fortune," but I actually went and watched Wheel of Fortune...as in, I was an audience member! Way cool, if I do say so myself. lol

It was my friend, Tara, her son, Caitlin, and myself. (That seems like a very awkward sentence, as though her son's name is Caitlin, or as though five people went 1. My friend 2. Tara 3. Her Son 4. Caitlin 5. Myself Oh well, you get the point) They filmed three shows while we were there. (They just change clothes between shows to make it look like it's the next day. If you watch Wheel of Fortune on May 7, 8, and 9, you'll see the same audience three "days" in a row. lol) It was SO much fun. My hands were killing me from clapping so much by the end of the third show. lol At one point, one of the camera guys came and pointed their camera directly at us and stayed there for like two minutes. All I could think was, "Oh my goodness, get that camera OFF of me!!!!" Caitlin and Jared thought it was SO cool that they were spotlighted and might get on TV. Caitlin was throwing up peace signs and squealing. lol

So anyways, if you watch Wheel of Fortune on May 7, 8 and 9 and see a fat pregnant chick in a blue shirt next to two crazy kids, that's me. lol

Tae kwon do tournament

2007-03-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

Today the three eldest children had a tae kwon do tournament. First, they compete in the kata (forms) competition. After that comes the sparring competition. Emma competed in the purple/green/blue belt ages 5-7 competition for both kata and sparring. She took first place in the kata competition and fourth place in the sparring competition. She competed against about thirty other kids for the kata competition and five other kids for sparring. Caitlin did really well in the purple/green/blue belt ages 8-10 kata and sparring competitions, but didn't place in either of them. She was also in a group of about thirty kids for both competitions. Cole placed third in the yellow belt, age 5 kata competition against about thirty other kids, and didn't place in the yellow/orange belt ages 5-7 sparring competition.

I'm so incredibly "well pleased" with my children. They all tried their hardest and gave it their all. You should have seen Caitlin jump and squeal when she heard Emma's name announced as the first place winner in her division. You would have thought Caitlin was the one up on the platform. lol I was so happy to see Caitlin being so supportive. You could just see the pride in Caitlin's eyes as she watched her little sister hold that first place trophy over her head. It was priceless and it made me feel, that although I feel completely inadequate as a mother at times, at least I'm doing something right. If I teach my children nothing else in life, the one lesson that I hope to impress upon them is that family sticks together. It is, in my opinion, the most important and most valuable lesson I can teach my children, and as I saw that look in Caitlin's eyes as she watched Emma, I knew that lesson was getting through to her and at that moment, the happiness I felt for Emma's accomplishment was nothing compared to the happiness I felt for Caitlin's.

So Sick and Tired

2007-03-24T00:09:00.000-07:00

I'm so sick and tired of Drake's work schedule. I'm tired of 14-18 hour days. I'm tired of him coming home so tired that all he can do is go straight to bed. I'm tired of the kids going to bed crying because yet another day has gone by that they got to see him for less than ten minutes. I'm tired of Sera screaming at the top of her lungs, refusing to go to bed because Daddy isn't there to put her to bed. I'm tired of hearing her silent sobs as she sits in her bed, asking for Daddy to come home. I'm tired of his constant working keeping him from doing the things that he needs to be doing. I'm tired of him being so tired that he can't do the things that will allow him to not have this horrid schedule anymore. I'm tired of trying to pick up the slack that him not being home causes. I'm tired of trying to get the kids to understand that it's important for Daddy to be working so much when I don't understand it myself. I'm tired of telling them that Daddy would be home if he could be because of course he'd rather be with them than at work, when I don't feel like that's even the truth anymore. I'm tired of feeling like a single mom. I'm tired of feeling like expressing my frustration over his long hours just makes him want to come home even less. I'm just tired,

It's a....

2007-03-16T15:43:00.000-07:00

GIRL!!! I had an ultrasound today. Everything looks great with my precious baby girl! I got a few pictures, but don't have my scanner hooked up at the moment, so I will post them when I get that done and get them scanned in.

She's actually measuring 2 weeks ahead of what I thought and SIX weeks ahead of what the doctor thought! So, my new due date is June 23rd. She's already weighing in at a whopping two pounds!

I'm so thrilled to be having a new little girl. Now Sera will have a little sister to play with!

I now understand the need

2007-03-10T02:31:00.000-08:00

for Sprout TV. When Sprout TV was first introduced, my first reaction was to shake my head. Had parenting gone so far downhill that we were now in need of children's programming 24 hours a day? How sad, I thought, that we were now promoting sitting your small child in front of the television at all hours of the day. Now, don't get me wrong...I'm far from a perfect mom. I have used the TV to "babysit" my kids. I probably do it more than I should. The television is the only thing that I know will keep my younger kids distracted and entertained in the morning as I try to get the older ones off to school. It also keeps them occupied when I'm doing dishes and can't be right there with them, watching them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, get on my case for not having a tupperware drawer in the kitchen to tear apart while I cook and clean or something. lol I'm not against children watching television. Do I think it's good for them? No. Do I think it's bad for them? Probably. Am I going to throw my TV out and never let them watch it? No...I'm far too lazy to do that. lol

Anyways...even though I am one of those parents that will plop their kid down in front of a video so I can get some things done, I was still appalled at the thought of 24 hour a day preschool programming...until last night. I went to bed at my usual time...1:45 am. At 2:15 am, Sera decided that it was time to wake up. Usually, if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she fusses for a few minutes, finds her sippy cup and falls back asleep without me having to go in her room. She wasn't going for it last night. 2:15 brought out the full on wailing, throwing things around her bedroom, tearing off her diaper, etc. So, I went into her room to calm her down. I sat with her. I cuddled with her. I sang to her, I laid down with her. I bargained with her. I bribed her. I begged her. I pleaded with her. She wasn't going back to sleep. So, I figured if she came into my bed with me, she'd just fall right back to sleep. On a side note...she coslept with us until just a few months ago. She's welcome into our bed at anytime, but has preferred to sleep in her own room lately. There are times though, when she decides she just wants to cuddle with mommy and daddy. I thought that perhaps last night was one of those times. I was wrong. She was having nothing to do with going back to sleep. She'd sit there, staring at me, and if I closed my eyes, she'd start to scream. I'd open my eyes, and she'd try to get me to play with her. I'd close my eyes, she'd scream. I wanted her to calm down and go to sleep. I NEEDED sleep. lol As a last resort, I turned on the television. She seemed interested. I turned on "PBS Sprout on Demand" and we watched Sesame Street. For the next five hours, we watched Sesame Street. She was mesmerized. She sat on my bed and watched Sesame street and I got periods of about 20 minutes of sleep between her waking me up to start the next show and her waking me up to discuss what she was watching.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I'm a terrible mom and let my child watch TV for five hours straight. I figured she'd eventually lay down and go to sleep. She even made herself a little bed of pillows and blankets in a laundry basket at the foot of our bed. lol No such luck though...she just laid there and watched Sesame Street. I honestly don't think my sanity could have handled a screaming child for five hours in the middle of the night though, so now I'm extremely grateful for Sprout TV. lol

Oh, I might mention that she finally fell asleep again around noon...only to wake up at one. She didn't fall asleep again until almost 11 at night. Apparently she had gotten to the point that she was so tired that she couldn't get to sleep. I can't say that I don't know that feeling considering I probably got less than two hours of sleep last night and here it is, almost three in the morning and I can't sleep.

She knows her place

2007-02-08T16:03:00.000-08:00

So, I had this picture of Sera on my computer screen and she came over to look at it:

This is the short conversation we had about it:

Me: Sera, who's that in the picture?
Sera: Daddy's princess.

A trip down memory lane

2007-01-18T19:28:00.000-08:00

So, I used to post stories about my kids on a different blahg. I was just reading through them, so I thought I'd post the link here so you can enjoy as well. :) Don't you feel oh so special?

http://www.xanga.com/kealohasilva

Cousins

2007-01-06T23:11:00.000-08:00

A pic of the Mann family grandkids:

Caitlin is on the top right, Ethan is the bottom left, Cole is next to him and Emma is holding Sera on the bottom right. This was taken on January 2nd, 2007. The oldest is 9. Only three of my parents eight children have kids, so can you imagine how many kids will be in the picture when ALL of the kids have kids? Just crazy! Next Christmas, as long as my sister or sister in law don't get pregnant within the next couple of months, there should only be one more. lol

Christmas

2006-12-30T11:54:00.000-08:00

So, Friday, the 22nd of November, we made the 8 hour trip up north to visit my family. Well...it should have been eight hours anyways. It ended up being nearly thirteen thanks to traffic in San Diego and Los Angeles. Gotta love southern California! It's always fun to be at a complete stand still on the freeway.

So, early Saturday morning (about three in the morning) we got to my mom's house. Thankfully, the kids slept most of the way. We had some interesting experiences along the way, but we managed to arrive safe and sound. Saturday evening I drove down to the Bay Area and had fun with a friend. We went out to eat, then went to see the movie, Eragon. The movie was a bit slow, but it was cute. I had a lot of fun. Right before the movie, I got a phone call from Drake saying that Sera was crying uncontrollably no matter what he did, so could I please come home as soon as possible. I felt bad and contemplated going home without watching the movie, but decided that he could play dad for a little while longer. I've dealt with unconsolable babies...why couldn't he? I still feel guilty for choosing to stay out and have fun while he was home dealing with a screaming baby, but it is so seldom that I get to go out that I decided they could live without me for another two hours. (Well, four if you count the two hour drive home) I called him when I left the bay area and told him I was on my way home. Less than an hour later, he called me back, all pissed off, wondering why I wasn't home yet. Ummm...perhaps it is because it's a two hour drive and I had started less than an hour before?

So, anyways, I get home, and sure enough...Sera is just pitching an absolute fit, refusing to sleep, refusing to eat, refusing to do anything. She was burning up. Poor baby was sick :( So, I gave her some Tylenol, the fever went down, and she was able to sleep for about twenty minutes at a time. For the next three nights I was up with her, trying to calm her down, walking around with her, singing to her, just holding her, etc., as she screamed and screamed and screamed. :( She's finally starting to feel a bit better and has only been waking up once or twice the past few nights. However, she's still miserable during the day. I feel bad because she's normally such a good, happy baby and my family just isn't seeing that. lol

We've been looking at a few housing developments while we're up here. There are some really nice homes being built in the Lincoln area that we would be very lucky to be able to purchase and be able to live in. The problem is, Drake doesn't have a job up here, so we really can't buy anything. The houses take about six months to build, which means we would have to buy now to move in June, which is the projected time frame for us planning on moving up here. But, without a job in place, it would be awfully risky to buy a place and just assume that he'll find work up here within the next six months. Ugh, I hate this. It doesn't help that he hasn't even started looking for work. He keeps saying that he needs to update his resume a bit before he can apply for new jobs, but he's not even working on it. He says he dislikes the way things are going with his current job and that he wants to move closer to my family, but his actions say otherwise. Whenever I bring up the fact that he needs to start working on his resume, he says he knows and that he will, but he never does. I know I can't bring it up that often because if I do he'll just start getting angry and tell me that I'm nagging and then we'll end up in a huge fight about it with him all pissed off and yelling and me crying, and well...I'm sick of fighting.

We got in a rather large fight the other day about something that has really been bothering me a lot lately. He actually initiated the conversation about it, so I thought we could have a civilized conversation about it, but no such luck. It just ended up with him pissed off at me, me crying and me feeling like I'm expected to be the "good little wife" who never makes waves, never questions his actions, just accepts everything he wants and doing whatever he says. I don't want to go into things too much because I don't like painting him as the bad guy because no matter what, this is the life I chose...this is the life I choose. Things don't have to be the way they are...I just allow them to be, so I really have no room to complain. I just wish things were different, but the more I try to change things, the worse our relationship gets, so I just go right back to, "Okay honey, you're right. I'm sorry. I'll do whatever you say. You're right, I shouldn't question you," and so on and so forth just to avoid the fighting.

Anyways, I'm having a good time spending time with my family, being able to talk to my mom and my sister, having the kids spend time with their cousins, etc. The kids are having an absolute blast having these built in kids that they get along with so well. I miss my family so much. I hate being so far away from them. The only thing I don't like about this visit is that I feel like such an outsider. I feel like I'm just a guest, visiting, rather than part of the family. I guess, in a way, I am. I only see them for a few days a year. They see their friends more often than they see me. I hate that.

The kids had a blast at Christmas. They got a ton of gifts and they're having a great time playing video games and playing with their new toys. Mario Party 7 seems to be their favorite gift as a whole. Emma got a skateboard and a bunch of gear from my mom. She's absolutely in love! She's been outside a lot trying to learn how to skateboard. Caitlin is extremely jealous. lol They all got some good stuff and it was fun spending Christmas morning with our family.

Tomorrow night we're celebrating new years at my sister's new home. We're all going over there for dinner, then staying until midnight. The older kids will be spending the night there. We're supposed to drive home on Monday, but I just don't think I'll be up for the drive after being up all night for New Years, so I think we're going to drive home Tuesday morning...then it's back to the grind and real life.

Sigh...I'm going to miss this. No matter how much Drake says he plans on finding a new job and us moving up here over the summer, I've heard that numerous years passed. I'm trying not to get my hopes up because it never happens.

My Christmas Newsletter

2006-12-19T18:29:00.000-08:00

I didn't get Christmas cards out again this year. :( So, you get my Christmas newsletter here. Don't you feel oh so special? It's also going out in a mass email to my relatives. Yes, I'm a complete slacker.

My dearest family and friends,

Once again, the holiday season is upon us and I find myself with many good intentions, but neither the time, nor the energy to bring these intentions about. So, please accept and forgive me for this mass email sent in lieu of Christmas cards this year.

Caitlin is in third grade this year and is loving school. She is involved in student government as a “Hawk Leader,” and is involved in the S.A.V.E. club that meets a few times a month after school. As a Hawk Leader, she oversees students during lunch time and is responsible for helping to keep order in the lunch room. S.A.V.E stands for Students Against Violence Everywhere. As part of this club, she learns ways to help her community and what she can do to keep a peaceful environment. She is involved in service projects and activities that help the community. She is currently a third degree green belt in tae kwon do and absolutely loves it!

Emma is in first grade. She loves to read and is just soaking up as much knowledge as she possibly can. She’s extremely focused and strives for perfection. She can be a bit hard on herself when she doesn’t meet her expectations, but it motivates to work even harder. She’s also a third degree green belt. Emma can be quite shy and reserved, but when you get her out on the tournament floor, she comes out of her shell and seems to be an entirely different person. It is amazing how much tae kwon do has helped her become more self confident.

Cole is full of spunk. He’s a third degree yellow belt. He recently received third place in his kata competition. He competed against approximately thirty other kids as the only four year old in the five to seven age group. He loves playing video games and is just itching to start kindergarten. He’s currently teaching himself addition and subtraction and is trying to read short words.

Ethan is enjoying his time at home with Mommy. He loves everything related to Superman and one of his favorite things to do is “fly” off of the furniture. He loves playing with Sera and is so good with her. He also really enjoys playing video games…when his older brother will give him a turn.

Sera is just a doll. She recently started walking, but still very much enjoys being carried everywhere. In November, she had surgery to remove a cyst from her face. Everything went well and she is healing nicely. She has brought so much joy to our family. No one can make the other kids smile and laugh quite like Sera can.

Drake is still working for General Atomics as a software engineer. He enjoys the work, but not the long hours that go along with it. He has made some very good friends and enjoys going bowling with the guys when he gets a chance to.

The big news of the family gets to come from me! I’m pregnant again! Yes, that’s right…Baby Silva #6 should be joining our family right around the fourth of July. We are all very excited.

I hope that this holiday season is full of all of the love and joy you all so richly deserve. Our family is very blessed to have each and every one of you in our lives.

Love,
Katie and the Silva Ohana

I feel like I can post this now that I've told my mom about the pregnancy. I was going to wait to tell family until I was there in person, but I'm not exactly the most patient person. lol

I hope that all of you have an incredible holiday season and that it brings about many great and wonderful blessings in your lives.

Yet another boring survey :)

2006-12-13T15:48:00.000-08:00

How old were you when you first...

1. Fell in love - 16

2. Lost someone close to you - Five days shy of 23

3. got drunk -16

4. smoked weed - Goodness...I don't even want to admit this. lol I wish I could say never. 21...I think

5. Got kissed - 14

6. Went to the hospital for surgery - Never

7. Got your heart broken - 16

8. Lost a pet - 8?

9. Got arrested -Haven't

10. Smoked a Ciggerette - 16

11. Broken a bone- Never

12. Got a job - 15

13. Got cheated on - 18...as far as I know

15. Went to a concert - 12

16. Got your own cell phone - 26

17. Had 1st boy/girl friend - 15

18. Got a myspace account -26

19. Snuck out of the house - Never have

20. Pierced other than your ears - never have

21. Got caught having sex - 16

22. Went on a date - 16

24. How old are you now? 27

My Little Dragon

2006-12-11T18:02:00.000-08:00

Cole has been sick the past couple of days. He's had a fever, a slight cough and a very sore throat. He lost his voice yesterday. This morning, he woke up and said he couldn't breathe. His breathing was VERY labored and he was definitely wheezing. I called his doctor, who said to take him to the emergency room. By the time we got there, he had calmed down and he was breathing semi normally again, but was still very congested and wheezing a bit. When we finally got taken back, they gave him a nebulizer treatment of albuterol and atrovent. He thought it was cool because he looked like a "dragon" with smoke coming out of his "nostrils." Here's my little dragon:
The dotor came in, diagnosed him with croup, gave him an oral steroid and send him home with an albuterol inhaler. She said that the wheezing had stopped and she wasn't going to diagnose him with asthma because the wheezing could have been caused by the croup, but to keep an eye on him when he's sick in the future and to feel free to use the inhaler if he had problems breathing when he's sick in the future.

My little guy was such a trooper. The nurse was very nice and gave him a book and a teddy bear to take home. My oh so creative child named the bear "Medium Bear" because he has a bear that is larger than this bear and many bears that are smaller. lol

It was a long morning, but at least my little boy is feeling better and breathing normally now! I hate it when my kiddos are sick. :(

So proud of my kiddos

2006-12-03T19:48:00.000-08:00

Today, the older three kids had a tae kwon do tournament. My goodness was it an incredibly long day. lol It started with the forms competition. All three of them did incredibly well. Neither of the girls placed this time, but Cole placed for the very first time! He got third place! He was in the yellow belts, ages 5-7 division. He was the only four year old in the competition. He competed against about thirty other kids. You should have seen how excited he was when his name was called for third place! I was just beaming as well. Next came the sparring competition. None of the kids placed, but they had great fun. There was some really tough competition.

I'm just so proud of my kids. They have really stuck with tae kwon do. There have been many weeks that they haven't wanted to go, or wanted to do something else (i.e. birthday parties...there are a lot of them scheduled for Saturday mornings, which is when their class is) but they've made the decision to stick with tae kwon do and put for the effort and dedication it takes to succeed and it's really paying off. I have seen such a huge difference in them since they've started these classes. Self confindence has improved, social interactions have improved, and for Cole, it's really taught him how to stay still and pay attention. He's no longer bouncing off the walls, unable to pay attention to any one thing for more than fifteen seconds. He can actually focus and concentrate on something when he wants to. This is something they truly enjoy and they all plan on it being a lifelong hobby. (Well, it's Emma's hope that it will be more than a hobby...she eventually hopes to teach it and make it her career.)

I am NOT a happy hooker :(

2006-11-19T19:51:00.000-08:00

So, I was crocheting a pair of pants for my niece. I realized about half way through that they're probably way too big for her, so I decided to make them for Sera instead. Anyways, I'm about half way done with the first leg, then only had the second leg left to do, a little embellishing and they'd be DONE! I was so thrilled to finish up this project. (It's not very often that I actually finish projects lol) Then...I LOST MY HOOK!!! I can't find it anywhere! :( I'm guessing Sera must have gotten a hold of it (because who wouldn't want to play with a crochet hook? lol) and now it's goodness knows where! With my car currently out of comission, I can't just run to Michael's and get a new hook, either :( I had planned on a nice peaceful evening of hooking tonight. lol Now those thoughts are dashed. :( I guess I'll just have to be a happy hooker another night when I either find my hook or can manage to get a new one. :(

On a much happier note though...I managed to find these candycane Hershey kisses that a friend has been raving about and they are DIVINE! I'm not a huge fan of white chocolate, but these are oh so good!

This should be fun!

2006-11-17T15:11:00.000-08:00

Email me the answers to katie.silva at gmail.com :)

Goodness knows I've posted enough of those boring surveys...this should be easy!

So You Think You Know Me...

(2 Points) My name:

(4 Points) My last name:

(4 Points) Who am I in love with:

(1 Points) Where did we meet:

(6 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:

(1 Point) where do i work:

(3 Points) what am i afraid of:

(2 Points) Do I smoke :

(3 Points) Do I drink:

(3 points) Do you think im a virgin:

(1 Point) Do I have any siblings:

(2 Points) How many:

(2 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:

(1 Point) How many piercings do i have:

(1 Point) How many tattoos do i have:

(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music:

(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing:

(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

(2 Points) whats my favorite color:

(3 Points) name something i hate:

(4 Points) name a talent i have:

(4 Points) whats my phone number:

(4 Points) what kind of sneakers do i wear:

(4 Points) do i have any pets:

(2 Points) Who am i dating/likeing right now:

(5 Points) how long have i been dating them:

(5 points) how tall am i?

(5 Points) What is my worst habit:

(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island,
what would I bring:

ILL SEND YOU YOUR SCORE WHEN I GRADE IT

80-85 Points; Best Friend.

70-79 Points; Great Friend.

40-69 Points; Friend.

20-39 Points; You should hang out with me more! Ask Me when.

00-19 Points; Either you're a crappy friend or you're a new friend!

Day 4

2006-11-17T14:49:00.000-08:00

No picture today because Sera is pretty much better :) She's still bruised (a bit more than yesterday) but the swelling has completely gone down and she's able to open her eye normally! YAY! So, now it's just a matter of the bruising going away. The day after tomorrow we will be able to take the steri strips off and her stitches should come out as well. Hopefully the incision won't look that terrible. I'm a little nervous about it. The doctor said he made the incision as small as possible. That still doesn't tell me how small it is. I guess we'll find out in a couple of days!

Day Three

2006-11-16T08:58:00.000-08:00

This is how Sera woke up this morning. She's less swollen, but more bruised :(

Am I a horrible mom?

2006-11-15T09:27:00.000-08:00

Sera woke up this morning, looking like this:

It's slowly turning black and blue. My first reaction was one of sadness and pity. Now, I think it's kinda funny. She looks like she got in a fight. lol Sadly, she can't say, "You should see the other guy," because the "other guy" made thousands of dollars off of it. lol

It's causing her perception to be off a bit. She keeps bumping into things. LOL

I'm a horrible mommy. :(

Sera's Surgery

2006-11-14T14:03:00.000-08:00

Things went really well with Sera's surgery today. She screamed when the doctor and nurse took her away from me though. She's been seeing this ENT since she was born, so she recognized him and she does NOT like him because every time she sees him, he pokes and prods at her.

All in all, the surgery took about an hour. She woke up about thirty minutes later, but promptly fell back asleep and took a two hour nap. They were able to take out her IV while she slept, so she never even knew she had one. I think the insertion point bothers her a bit though because she keeps poking at it and saying, "owwwwwww." They kept her for about an hour after she woke up to make sure she could eat and drink, then I was able to take her home!

She's doing really well. She hasn't even noticed her stitches yet, so it's obviously not bothering her, which I'm grateful for. The last thing I want to deal with is her trying to pull them out! She's up and walking around now, but she's still a bit wobbly. It was actually kinda cute and funny to see her falling all over the place at the hospital. She insisted on walking right away.

She was able to take her favorite doll with her into surgery, which she was THRILLED about. They even put a hospital bracelet on it for her.

Here she is in her hospital gown, before surgery:

And here she is "sleeping it off."

Here she is, home and happy. You can see the steri strips in this picture. That's where the cyst was. They're covering three or four stitches.

Longest.Survey.EVAR

2006-11-12T20:13:00.000-08:00

1. How old will you be in five years?
32...goodness, am I really that close to 30? Yikes!

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with yesterday?
My kids, Drake

3. How tall are you?
5' 6"

4. what do you look foward to in the next 6 weeks?
Going up north to see my family for Christmas!

5. What's the last movie you saw?
Pulp Fiction

6. Who is the last person you called?
Frankie

7. Who was the last person to call you?
Frankie

8. What was the last text message you received?
"Did you laugh?"

9. Do you prefer to call or text?
depends on my mood

10. Do you have any pets?
I don't, but my kids do.

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
sleeping

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
My parents would still be married if my dad was alive

13. When is the last time you saw your mom?
last Christmas season :(

14. What color are your eyes?
brown

15. What time did you wake up today?
9:30 Goodness I love sleeping in!

16. What are you wearing right now?
t shirt and gauchos

17. What's your favorite Christmas song?
What Child is This

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
don't have one

19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
don't have one

20. Where would you go if you could go anwhere?
Greece

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
Somewhere, tearing my hair out, as I'll have FOUR teenagers!!!

22. Do you tan or burn?
both

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
the person under my bed...the same person that's still there :(

24. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
a message on my cell phone

25. How many TVs do you have in your house?
2

26. How big is your bed?
queen

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
both

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
with...what if there was a fire?!?!?!

29. What color are your sheets?
grey

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
1 if I'm sleeping with Drake, 2 if I have the bed to myself. I prefer 2.

31. What is your favorite season?
spring

32. What do you like about fall?
cool weather

33. What do you like about winter?
Christmas

34. What do you like about the summer?
sunlight

35. What do you like about spring?
cool weather, everything turns green and alive

36. How many states have you lived in?
2

37. What cities/towns have you lived in?
San Leandro, CA; Fremont, CA; San Lorenzo, CA; Rexburg, ID; Mountain View, CA; Santa Cruz, CA; San Diego, CA

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
bare feet

39. Are you a social person?
no

40. What was the last thing you ate
baked chicken wings

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
any good sushi place

42. What is your favorite ice cream?
Ben & Jerry's Brownie Batter

43. What is your favorite dessert?
creme brulee

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Canned cream of mushroom. Especially when I also have a grilled cheese sandwich and a pickle. Gross, I know. lol

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
lingonberry

46. Do you like Chinese food?
yes...I especially prefer cheap takeout!

47. Do you like coffee?
coffee is evil

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
lately, not nearly enough. I try to drink at least ten cups a day though.

49. What do you drink in the morning
water

50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
it depends on my mood

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
yes, whatever side is closest to the door so I can get up with the kids at night without waking Drake up

52. Do you know how to play poker?
I love playing poker. I absolutely suck at it, so people love playing poker with me. ALL IN, BABY!

53. Do you like to cuddle?
yes

54. Have you ever been to Canada?
no

55. Do you have an addictive personality?
yes

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
Home but I LOVE to eat out

58. why is there no 57?
I don't know

59. Do you want kids?
I would like more

60. Do you speak any other languages?
I can count to 100 and say the alphabet in Spanish, and I can ask where the train station is in German.

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
Yes. I fell off my bike at Blacow Elementary and ended up with five stitches in my chin. Oh, then there's always the fun child birth ones. TMI, yeah...whatever.

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Yes, with my baby, who was choking :(

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
pool...I'm afraid of the ocean.

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
window

65. Do you know how to drive stick?
Yes. I think everyone should know how to.

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
my kids

67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
no

68. What is your favorite TV show?
Desperate Housewives, LOST, House

69. Can you roll your tongue?
yes

70. Who is the funniest person you know
I don't know

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
no

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
My phone doesn't ring anymore.

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
Yes

74. What red object is closest to you right now?
I have nothing red next to me at the moment.

75. Do you turn off the water when you brush your teeth?
yes

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
it's usually open

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
Oh man I hate bees, give me the bear

78. Do you flirt a lot?
I don't flirt. I'm just friendly.

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
honey mustard

80. What is your favorite food?
sushi

81. Can you change the oil on a car?
yes, and I can change a tire. I'm cool like that.

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
yes

83. Have you ever run out of gas?
yes

84. What is your usual bedtime?
usually 2 or 3 am. Lately I've been in bed by 10:30 though.

85. What was the last book you read?
Danse Macabre is the last one I finished. I'm currently reading The Dark Tower series

86. Do you read the newspaper?
no

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Yes. Better Homes and Gardens, Family Fun, Parenting, Shape...I think that's it.

88. Best comedian?
Dane Cook

89. Do you watch soap operas?
no

90. Do you dance in the car?
yes

91. What radio station did you last listen to?
95.7

92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?
Caitlin and Seth

93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
What I wanted Emma to write on her project

94. What is your favorite candle scent?
vanilla

95. What is your favorite board game?
don't really have one

96. Where do you attend church?
I don't

97. When was the last time you attended church?
a couple of years ago

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
2 weeks, I think

Do this

2006-11-10T10:39:00.000-08:00

Do this: http://www.weffriddles.com/ Now. Quick...like a bunny!

I hate Reeces Peanut Butter Cups

2006-11-02T17:24:00.000-08:00

They are evil. Plain and simple. Somehow they manage to unwrap themselves, jump into my mouth and FORCE me to chew and swallow them. EVIL EVIL EVIL!!! I'm sick to my stomach. I've been sick to my stomach for two days now. However, these evil peanut butter cups don't seem to care. They still JUMP down my throat, making me even sicker. Seriously, it's all I've eaten today because I feel so ill. (Of course, feeling sick is my own dang fault. Word to the wise: if you haven't eaten meat in weeks, don't decide that you can eat many many fried chicken strips. It's a VERY bad idea. You WILL be sick for days following.) I don't think eating nothing but peanut butter cups for two days is going to make me feel any better. However, these evil little things just keep forcing themselves down my throat. WHEN WILL IT STOP!?!?!?!? I keep thinking the kids will eventually run out of peanut butter cups...that eventually the very last one will commit suicide in my mouth and I will be free of these evil little creatures, but they seem to be multiplying. They show up where there were none before. I think these things breed like bunnies! They must be stopped!!!!

Día de los Muertos

2006-11-01T19:58:00.000-08:00

Okay, since it's not halloween anymore, I couldn't exactly wish you a happy halloween in the title of this post, so I figured I'd title it with the appropriate holiday of the day. See, I'm just cool like that. ;)

I am, however, going to share pictures of my gorgeous children which were taken yesterday, Halloween.

More of this

2006-10-30T21:33:00.000-08:00

Part 1: The Birth of You

Were you a planned baby?: No, I was a pleasant surprise

Were you the first?: No

Who was present at your birth?: My mom, and probably my dad.

Were your parents married when you were born?: yes

What is your birthdate?: Friday, April 13, 1979

Part 2: The Family

Are you parents married or divorced? They were married until my dad passed away. Legally, they're not married anymore.

An only child?: no

If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest? middle

What are your sibling's names? Jay, Heidi, Louis, Isaac, Taleisha, Lucas, Chelsie

Which parent do you get along with best? My mom. It wasn't that I didn't get along with my dad. We just didn't have the same relationship that I had with my mom.

What do you fight about? I was never one to fight with my parents

Do you have step parents?: no

Part 3: The Friends

Do you have more than one best friend? yes

What do you like to do when you are together? hang out and have fun

Do you share the same interests? some

Which friend can you tell anything to? Tracey and Frank

Part 4: Your Personality

How high/low is your self esteem?: Fairly low

Do you get depressed about things easily? no

Are you an extrovert (outgoing) or an introvert (reserved)? introvert

Are you happy? sometimes

Do you live life to the fullest? not yet

Part 5: Appearance

Are you comfortable with the way you look? No

Describe your hair?: long, wavy, layered

How do you dress? I dress like a mom...whatever is comfy that I won't mind getting dirty

Part 6: The Past

Were you a strange child? no

What did you used to love that you no longer do?: Fishing, camping

Do you have the same friends? Some, not most though

Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing? My dad passing away was pretty terrible

Part 7: The Future

What is your ambition? to raise my children to be successful, happy adults and for them to be able to say of me what I can say of my parents, "I know how I want to raise my children by the way my parents raised me."

Are you scared of growing old?: no

Do you want to get married?: I already am

Part 8: The Outdoors

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: out

Favorite season?: spring

Do you like walking in the rain? No. I hate the rain.

Part 9: Food

Are you a vegetarian?: yes

What is your favorite food?: sushi (yeah, I know it's not vegetarian...whatever.)

What food makes you want to gag? asparagus, liver

What is your favorite dessert? creme brulee

What is your favorite restaurant? I don't currently have one.

Are you a fussy eater?: No

Part 10: Relationships and Love

Are you single or taken?: Married

Do you believe in love at first sight?: yes

Part 11: Experiences

What was one of your greatest experiences? Being blessed with five incredible children

What was one of the worst? watching my dad die

Have you ever thought you were going to die? no

1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
doing dishes

2. Who will be your next kiss?
Drake...he's the only person in the house still awake, so he wins by default

3. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
The clothes on Caitlin's stuffed animal

4. When was the last time you went to the mall?
A while ago

5. Are you wearing socks right now?
no...I almost never wear socks and you will NEVER find me wearing socks in the house

6. When was the last time you went out of the state?
When I was in college

7. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
nope

8. What was the last thing you had to drink?
this nasty pumpkin/banana smoothie thing

9. What are you wearing right now?
blue jeans, 3/4 sleeved, black, v neck, ribbed sweater

10. What was your last purchase?
soy milk, diapers, pumpkin pie spice, venti passion iced tea, venti pumpkin spice latte (There's a Starbucks in my Albertsons and you can buy up to three grocery items there along with your drinks lol)

11. Last food you ate?
split pea soup...yum!

12. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Caitlin

13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
No

14. Do you have a pet?
Not me, personally. My kids do, though.

15. What's the last sporting event you watched?
some football game and some baseball game, at the same time. (I was at a pizza place that had both games playing on seperate tv's)

16. What is your favorite class?
When I was in school, it was anything that had to do with math.

17. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? snuggled up in bed

18. Last thing purchased online?
clothes for Sera

19. How old are your parents?
My mom is 51 and my dad would be 55

20. What's your favorite soup?
Cream of mushroom

21. Do you miss anyone?
yes

23. What were/are your plans for the day?
parent/teacher conference, playing with the kids, cleaning the house

24. Who is the last person you messaged on myspace?
Tracey

25. Ever go to camp?
every summer from the age of 12 to 18.

26. Were you an honor roll student in school?
yes...until I became a slacker

27. What do you know about the future?
That I don't know anything about it

28. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
No, I just smell this good naturally. Okay, so I never wear perfume.

30. Where is/are your best friend[s] located?
multiple places

31. Do you have a tan?
No, I'm currently so white it's scary.

32. How old do you want to be when you have kids??
I'm thinking 19 was a good age. Oh wait, no it wasn't. DO NOT HAVE KIDS WHEN YOU'RE NINETEEN!!!!! It worked out well for me...she's awesome...but I wouldn't do it again.

33. Do you collect anything?
apparently I collect kids

34. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
just my ears

35. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
are there people who haven't?

36. How do you like your soda?
in a bottle

37. Do you like hot sauce?
yes

38. Last time you took a shower?
last night

39. Who do you like?
almost everyone

40. What is your mood?
blah

41. Are you someone's best friend?
yes

42. What's the last TV show you watched?
Desperate Housewives...last week sometime.

STOP THE PRESSES!!!!

2006-10-30T20:39:00.000-08:00

Ahem *taps the mic* Is this thing on? *tap tap tap* Ladies and gentleman, I have an announcement to make.

SERA IS WALKING!!!

Yes folks, you heard correctly. My precious little Sera is officially a toddler. As of just a couple of days ago, she is no longer crawling. I was absolutely AMAZED at how quickly she started walking as soon as she put her mind to it. She went from tentatively taking some steps if she thought she could make it from one place to the next without falling, to just going for it, and getting right back up when she fell down in just two days. I am so grateful for every day that I am allowed to witness the lives of these precious little miracles that I have been blessed with.

How fun!

2006-10-28T02:49:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I came across an incredible site. The Toy Maker is full of fun paper crafts you can do with your kids (or by yourself if you really wanted to lol) Now I'm feeling the pull to get new printer cables so I can actually print these things out. The kids and I would have such a blast doing this. I've been trying to find some things for Cole, Ethan and I to do together while the girls are at school. I think I just may have found it!

Some food for thought

2006-10-24T13:53:00.000-07:00

"It is never too late to become who you might have been."

WOOHOOOOO!!!!

2006-10-23T22:06:00.000-07:00

So, my mother in law came to visit last week. She stayed with us one night, then we drove her up to L.A. and we visited with family that lives up there and she stayed up there with her sister until she came back down to San Diego, stayed another night with us, then flew back home to Hawaii. All in all, it was an incredible visit. We were able to see Drake's grandmother, who we haven't seen in many years, as well as his aunt, uncle and cousins.

Drake's mom seemed very impressed with the effort I have been putting into losing weight and actually gave me some money to go out and buy a new outfit! Now I just have to decide if I'm going to buy the outfit now, or wait until I've lost some more weight. Drake suggested I buy the sweater that I've been oogling at for a while.
It's from J Crew and is cashmere. However, with a $140 price tag, it's just not something I would spend my own money on. I'm VERY tempted to buy it though. With my luck, however, the first time I wore it, one of the kids would puke or poop on it. lol I'll probably just use the money to buy myself a couple new pairs of jeans and a shirt or two. I think that would be money better spent than on a sweater that I would be too afraid to actually wear. lol Isn't it beautiful though...and it's oh so soft and yummy.

I got new sheets!!!! Yes, this is blahg worthy. :P Another little known fact about me. I'm a sheet snob. I think there are very few things in life that compare to sleeping on a bed with high quality bedding. There is no joy quite like that of laying your head on a nice pillow case, sprawling your body out on a nice fitted sheet, and snuggling up under an incredible flat sheet and really nice comforter. Really...it makes me happy just thinking about it. lol One of my favorite things on a cold night is to wash my sheets, pull them straight out of the dryer, put them on my bed and just be warm and comfy. I love the smell of newly washed sheets. Honestly, if I had to choose between sleeping with my husband or sleeping with really nice, high TC, Egyptian cotton, freshly laundered sheets, hubby might just get the boot. lol I need a new pillow though. I'm thinking of getting a King sized, goose down pillow. I LOVE goose down bedding. I SO badly want a goose down comforter. Sadly, Drake is allergic. :( He'll probably throw a fit over the pillow and I'll be forced to choose between him and the pillow. I hope he doesn't mind sleeping on the couch. :( lol

2006-10-16T14:02:00.000-07:00

So, convincing Drake to go veg was SO much easier than I thought it would be. I said, "Hey honey, how do you feel about going vegetarian?" He said, "Okay," and that was that. Too easy, right? Of course it was. Apparently he thought he was agreeing to eating vegetarian meals every once in a while. When I told him that no meat would be prepared in our home again, he recanted his okay of a vegetarian lifestyle. I told him that I would compromise and if he wanted meat, he could cook it himself. That was a no go.

I took the girls to the store and bought next weeks food. I told them we were going vegetarian. They literally CRIED...tears and everything! "But I LOOOOOOOVE meat!!! No more McDonalds? No more ribs? What are we going to eat??!?!??!" *sigh Caitlin is on a hunger strike until I cook her meat. lol (Although, we went out for dinner with family last night and they had ham and pinapple pizza. I told them they could eat meat, I just wouldn't be preparing it for them.)

Drake says there's no way he's giving up cheese. I told him he could do the shopping then because I won't be buying cheese anymore. Yesterday I made this incredible (if I do say so myself) zucchini and bean soup. Everyone LOVED it...except Caitlin, who refused to eat it due to her hunger strike. Tonight I'm making a tofu curry. YUM!

I think I'm going to do some "raw" days. There's no way I could go 100% raw. Raw is basically just like it sounds...you don't cook anything. Heating up food takes away a lot of the nutrients, so eating raw is actually REALLY good for you. I'm not crazy enough to go fully raw, but I'm hoping to incorporate a few raw days a week into my diet. I have a recipe for a raw lasagna that looks really good!

Anyone have a food processor or a blender they want to give me? I could really use one. lol I want to start off each day with a kale smoothie, but currently don't have the means to make them. :( Oh, and Drake said he'll skip breakfast if it's a kale smoothie. :P