I have officially decided that I dislike living in San Diego :( Okay, so I really decided that quite some time ago. However, I'm feeling it more and more these days. I hate being so far from my family. I hate feeling like I'm missing out on important events in my family's lives. I missed Taleisha's graduation. I really wish I could have been there. I know what a huge day it is in someone's life, and I couldn't be there for her because I live so far away. I want to find a way to make it up to her, but with no extra money just laying around, and short of coming into a bunch of extra cash suddenly, I just can't come up with anything :( I hate that my children barely know their cousins and that when they finally do get together, there's that "warming up" period that they always have to go through before they start feeling comfortable around eachother. I know the relationships I had with my cousins. They weren't that great. Don't get me wrong, they defintiely weren't bad, but I barely know them. I want more for my children and their cousins. I want them to be good friends, not just people they have to hang out with at family gatherings. Drake has asked me to give him five years down here so that he has a decent amount of work history behind him, making it easier to find a new job, and so that he can get retirement benefits from his current job. Five years is getting closer and closer, but is getting more and more difficult to wait out.

On a brighter note, I've decided I'm going to start getting out more. I'm thinking of going to a Toby Keith concert in August. (Oh my gosh, am I actually thinking of spending money on COUNTRY music? What is the world coming to. I'm so ashamed. lol) However, I have no one to go with. :( I'm such a loser LOL. I'd go with Drake, but I need him home to watch the kids and he really wouldn't enjoy it. He'd only go to be with me, so we'd end up shelling out money for the concert, even MORE money for a babysitter, and he wouldn't even enjoy it. It would be a total waste of money. I don't have any friends though and I really don't just want to go alone, so I probably won't end up going :( I'm still thinking of a way to go without looking like a total loser and going alone.

Have you heard that song, "Redneck Woman" by Gretchen Wilson? Yes, more about country music...this is my blog, I can talk about whatever I want to! I was listening to it on the radio the other day and I'm happy to say that while I have this secret shame of enjoying country music, I'm still MUCH to prissy to actually fit in as a redneck. Here are the lyrics that really jumped out at me:

"Victoria's Secret, well their stuff's real nice
But I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price
And still look sexy, just as sexy as those models on TV"

Now I'm sorry, but you absolutely CANNOT compare Victoria's Secret lingerie to Walmart lingerie. That just made me laugh. Walmart stuff is crap. I won't even shop there. (For more reasons than just the fact that their stuff is crap) Besides, there's just something nice about having name brand things. Now, I'm not a brand snob at all, but there really is a HUGE difference in Victoria's Secret vs. Walmart brand. The thought of Walmart lingerie makes makes me shudder.

There are other parts of the song that make me cringe a bit, but I'm just glad to know that while I may listen to country, I'm still a city girl at heart ;)