I have been in quite a funk lately. I don't know what it is. Perhaps it's the sun not shining as much during the day. Perhaps it's because I haven't been getting out of the house much. Perhaps it's a late onset of baby blues. Whatever it is, it just sucks. I have been UNBELIEVABLY irritable. The other day I was out running some errands and someone almost backed up into me. They then had the NERVE to honk at me...like it was MY fault they weren't looking when they were backing out of their parking spot and almost hit me. All of a sudden, from the back of the car I hear, "Mommy, what does ***hole mean?" I was SHOCKED. I replied, "Where did you hear that word?" He said, "You just said it." So, apparently I'm randomly swearing and not even realizing it...in front of my KIDS no less! Great...no mother of the year award here!

Even the littlest things have been bugging the heck out of me. It's gotten to the point that I feel like I should just lock myself in a closet until this all blows over because I'm just plain mean. My poor kids. The slightest thing sets me off and boy do they hear it. :( I've been such a crappy mom lately. I hear myself yelling and think, "Katie...GET A GRIP! This wouldn't even normally bother you. It's not a big deal!" yet I'm still yelling. Then I'm crying because I feel like such a crappy mom for yelling.

Drake was gone for a week. I was SO excited the day he got home. I had missed him so much. But I swear...from the minute he went home until the minute we went to bed that night, we were fighting. I don't know if it was his nitpicking at everything I apparently did wrong while he was gone, or if I was just overreacting, or if I just had unrealistic expectations of what things would be like when he got home...I don't know. All I know is that NOTHING was as I expected it would be. I thought we would be this happy family, so thrilled to be back together after him being gone for a week. I was expecting a period of just being happy and reveling in the fact that he was home, but it was nothing like that. I felt like the moment he walked in the door he was all over me about every little thing that he felt was wrong with the house and with the kids. I had tried SO hard to make things run smoothly and get things done while he was gone so he would come home and be happy and it was for NOTHING. Not only did he not notice all the things I did, he harped on all the things I didn't do. I think with this funk I've been in, I was really relying on his homecoming to be a bright spot in my life. I was expecting at least a few hours of genuine happiness. It was unfair of me to put that expectation on him. I think that when things failed to go exactly how I expected them to, it just intensified the negative. At least, that's what I'm going to tell myself because otherwise he really was just a complete ass, which really sucks.

Usually, I can just move past things. They bother me for a second, then I just let them go. I can't seem to do that lately. Things that bother me, continue to bother me. People that irritate me, continue to irritate me. I just really need to get out of this funk.