So, two years ago, there was a huge fire about five miles from my home. It burned a TON of land and a ton of homes. Today, there was a large fire near our home. They evacuated approximately 200 homes. We packed our stuff to get ready for evacuation in case the fire turned towards us. Luckily, it never did.

Both fires caused us to rush around, packing up the most important things in our home. Both fires brought me a sense of panic...what should I pack? Is this important enough? Should I pack the things we won't be able to afford to replace? Where are the things that would be impossible to replace? Where on earth is so and so's birth certificate? Why don't I have everything in one place where I could just grab it and go? Should I tell the kids they can't pack their favorite stuffed animals because we need room for other stuff? Do I pack the computer, with all of my files I've worked so hard on, or do I leave it so the kids can bring their favorite dolls, which will help them relax in such a scary time? Should I pack my emergency kit, with food, flashlights, medicine, etc., or is that silly because I'll just be going to a friend's house where they'll have all of those things? What good does my three month's worth of food and water do if I have to leave it all behind? Am I really as prepared as I thought I was? What on earth do I do with this duct tape and plastic sheeting? LOL

I told the kids that there was a fire nearby and we might need to evacuate. They had been through the routine two years ago, so they knew what to do. They grabbed their suit cases and packed their most valuable posessions. Caitlin grabbed her pillow, doll, swim suit, goggles and shoes. Emma grabbed her swim suit, goggles, roller shoes and a couple of toys. Cole grabbed diapers, pull ups, toys, swim trunks, goggles, his potty training chart and his "potty" crown that he wears whenever he goes to the bathroom on the toilet. Ethan had no idea why people were gathering things, but figured he should get in on the action. He grabbed an empty Wendy's frosty cup and the vegetable wash LOL He eventually decided to drop those and pack as much bottled water as possible. It was interested to see what was most important to each child. Can you tell they really love swimming? Ethan, without knowing what was going on, oddly enough, actually grabbed what he needed the most. Ethan gets dehydrated REALLY easily and gets terrible fevers if he hasn't had anything to drink in a few hours. He easily drinks a gallon of water a day. So, it was really interesting to see him, in the midst of everyone panicing and packing, grab what, even if only subconsciously, he knew he needed the most. He also threw his sippy cup in with the bottles of water.

As for me, what I finally decided on was the important papers: birth certificates, social security cards, etc., all of the photo albums, the children's baby books, the infant clothing I have been saving that was made by Drake's grandmother for my girls, the red wool coat that ever since I was a child I had dreamt of purchasing for my first daughter, that we bought for Caitlin when we were poor as heck, my dad's favorite shirt that I had insisted on dressing him in when he passed away so he looked presentable for the mortician, a lock of my dad's hair, the family silver that had been passed down to us from my mother in law, formula and diapers for the baby, my piano and vocal music, and all of the stuff the children packed. I'm sure I would have thrown the computers in there as well, somehow LOL

I was looking around the house, thinking of all we would lose if our house was destroyed and oddly enough, although I felt like I should have felt like my world would be ending, I was okay with it. These things were just that...things. Everything I would leave, could eventually be replaced. I knew I had family, friends and church that would help me rebuild my life and aquire the things that my family needed. While I would be devestated to lose my home and all of my posessions, the important things would be safe...my family...and that's all I really needed.

Drake left for New York this morning. As we were packing, he was on a plane, impossible to reach. I never knew how much I relied on him until he wasn't there to rely on. I constantly second guessed myself...do I really have everything I need? Am I missing something important? Is there something somewhere in some corner of the house that I'm going to be angry at myself for not thinking about and leaving behind? Can I really evacuate by myself, with five children to take care of? I was pissed at his company for sending him off on a holiday, when I really needed him at home, but moreso, I was pissed at myself for not having the confidence in myself to get things done. I hated that I was second guessing myself. I hated that I was so unsure in my ability to take care of my family on my own. Really, as long as I got my children out and to a safe location, the rest of the stuff didn't matter. I don't know why I was so freaked out about not being able to get things done. Still though...it sucked to be in such a panic and feeling like you can't take care of the things that you need to take care of.