So, what's new with me? A whole lot of nothing. lol Lately I've just kinda been moping around, not doing much of anything. I have about four different knitting projects going. The one I've progressed the most on is the Blossom dress for Sera. I'm making it out of organic cotton. It's nice and soft.

The kids got their report cards. They did exceptionally well. I had a parent/teacher conference with Cole's teacher. She said that he is just a little sponge and soaks everything up and once she introduces a concept, he just "gets it" and runs with it. She gave me a list of sight words that kindergarteners are supposed to know by the end of the year. Cole knows all but four of them. She said that she'll move on to the older kid lists once he finishes the Kindergarten list. Cole is writing full stories during free write. The children are expected to write a single sentence using a sight word at this point in the year. He's doing really well in math, which I pretty much already knew. She said that they're working on recognizing and writing numbers 1-20. Cole can recognize and write numbers up to 999,999 so he's not having a problem with that. lol Next trimester they'll be working on adding numbers 1-10. Cole has been able to add three digit numbers in his head since before he started school, so hopefully he won't be too bored. Cole got "Exceeds grade level expectations" and "Meets grade level expectations" in all subjects.

Emma had a phenomenal report card. She got "Meets grade level expectations" in writing and "Exceeds grade level expectations" in everything else. Her teacher had only wonderful things to say about her. At the end of this month, Emma is participating in an "Author's Tea." One child from each class is chosen to read a story they wrote at a special tea that their parents can attend. Emma also participated in this her kindergarten year.

Caitlin is working so hard. She is the only child I have in school that actually has to work for her grades. She struggles with math and writing. She got mostly "meets grade level expectations" and a few "Progressing towards grade level expectations." With her, we focus on her "effort" grades. She got all "Exceeds expectations" for effort in all subjects. This is all I really care about. She is trying SO hard. She studies her little butt off for tests. She reads and reads and reads even though she hates it. This week she is receiving an award at school. They are recognizing fourth and fifth graders that got excellent grades on their report cards and the fourth and fifth graders that the teachers wanted to recognize for working really hard, even though they may have not gotten great grades. I am so incredibly proud of her. As difficult as it is for her, she really does try so hard and I'm so pleased that her teachers recognize this.

Honestly, as terrible as this is, it took quite a while for me to be okay with Caitlin's grades. School was always really easy for me. I kinda grew up with the attitude that people who didn't get good grades just weren't trying, because none of it was hard. I couldn't understand how people could possibly struggle because school was so easy for me. As I got older, I realized that academics didn't come as easily to most people as it did to me. However, I kinda just assumed that I would only have kids like me. Drake is ridiculously smart. If you put us together, we should have some wicked smart kids, right? lol For a long time I thought Caitlin was just lazy, or just didn't care. It honestly took me a long time to realize that school is hard for her. Her teachers would all tell me what a great kid she is and how hard she was working. I couldn't see that because I was so fixated on her grades and how frustrated I got trying to help her with her homework because it seemed to me like she just wasn't trying. In reality, she just wasn't "getting it."

My biggest concern now is that I really am not sure what she is capable of. With Emma, I can tell her, "I want to see all 4's on your next report card. You need to do this and this and this to improve your grades next time." (4's are "exceeds grade level expectations") I know she's capable of this, so I want her to strive for it. I don't want to push Caitlin into feeling like I expect more from her than she is capable of, but I don't want to just say, "Oh, she struggles, so these grades are acceptable. She's trying hard," if she's capable of doing better. I don't want her to feel like she'll never be "good enough" or "smart enough," but I also don't want her to just be okay with getting poor grades and feel like she doesn't have to strive to do better if she's capable of doing so.

Being a mom is hard.