So, what do you do with a nine year old who drives you absolutely batty? One who seemingly doesn't care what the consequences of her actions are...she just does whatever she wants to do? What do you do when you're at your wits end and you honestly just want to lock yourself in a closet so you don't have to get her on case once again...over and over again...constantly, without end...about whatever it is she's done that has made you angry this time? Seriously...I want to know. What do you do?

I love my daughter. She is one of the six best things that have happened to my life. She drives me crazy. Not the good "Haha, I'll laugh about this later," kind of crazy. The "Where did I go wrong and am I a horrible mom?" kind of crazy. Do you want to know what she said to me today? Or rather SCREAMED at me? "STOP F*$&%ING YELLING AT ME!!!" Yes, that came out of my darling nine year old's mouth. Maybe she is right. Maybe I need to calm down, take a step back and find another way to communicate with her. It's not that I haven't tried. It's that thus far, nothing has worked. So, I resort to yelling, which I HATE doing. Honestly, there are only two people in this world that I yell at...Caitlin and Drake. Go figure...they're pretty much the same person. It takes a LOT to get me to raise my voice. It seems to be an everyday thing with Caitlin though.

So, what am I to do? I've decided to honor her request. I'm going to stop yelling. On top of this, I'm going to spend more time with her. Maybe she's just acting this way because she wants attention. It can't be easy being the eldest of six. Maybe she feels unappreciated. Maybe she feels lost in a sea of kids. Maybe...I don't know. All I know is that I just can't handle much more of this. I hate that not a single day goes by that she's just happy all day. Something needs to change. I just don't know what it is.

So, the girls asked me to teach them how to finger knit today. Cole was feeling a bit left out because he wasn't there when I taught them. So, he asked me if I could teach him how to knit a hat...with real needles! Let me preface this by saying that I SUCK at teaching. I cannot teach. The thought of homeschooling never crossed my mind because my kids would suffer greatly. I am in awe of teachers. I just can't do it.

Anyways...So, I'm thinking, "How on earth can I possibly teach this kid to knit?" Not only can I not teach, but he's only five! Can a five year old really learn how to knit? Well...see for yourself! :D



He's currently up in his room, knitting himself a hat!

Oh, and for those reading this that can knit, I knit continental. I tried teaching him that way, but he was having a hard time with it, so I taught him to throw, which he caught onto right away!

Labels: knit

So, what's new with me? A whole lot of nothing. lol Lately I've just kinda been moping around, not doing much of anything. I have about four different knitting projects going. The one I've progressed the most on is the Blossom dress for Sera. I'm making it out of organic cotton. It's nice and soft.

The kids got their report cards. They did exceptionally well. I had a parent/teacher conference with Cole's teacher. She said that he is just a little sponge and soaks everything up and once she introduces a concept, he just "gets it" and runs with it. She gave me a list of sight words that kindergarteners are supposed to know by the end of the year. Cole knows all but four of them. She said that she'll move on to the older kid lists once he finishes the Kindergarten list. Cole is writing full stories during free write. The children are expected to write a single sentence using a sight word at this point in the year. He's doing really well in math, which I pretty much already knew. She said that they're working on recognizing and writing numbers 1-20. Cole can recognize and write numbers up to 999,999 so he's not having a problem with that. lol Next trimester they'll be working on adding numbers 1-10. Cole has been able to add three digit numbers in his head since before he started school, so hopefully he won't be too bored. Cole got "Exceeds grade level expectations" and "Meets grade level expectations" in all subjects.

Emma had a phenomenal report card. She got "Meets grade level expectations" in writing and "Exceeds grade level expectations" in everything else. Her teacher had only wonderful things to say about her. At the end of this month, Emma is participating in an "Author's Tea." One child from each class is chosen to read a story they wrote at a special tea that their parents can attend. Emma also participated in this her kindergarten year.

Caitlin is working so hard. She is the only child I have in school that actually has to work for her grades. She struggles with math and writing. She got mostly "meets grade level expectations" and a few "Progressing towards grade level expectations." With her, we focus on her "effort" grades. She got all "Exceeds expectations" for effort in all subjects. This is all I really care about. She is trying SO hard. She studies her little butt off for tests. She reads and reads and reads even though she hates it. This week she is receiving an award at school. They are recognizing fourth and fifth graders that got excellent grades on their report cards and the fourth and fifth graders that the teachers wanted to recognize for working really hard, even though they may have not gotten great grades. I am so incredibly proud of her. As difficult as it is for her, she really does try so hard and I'm so pleased that her teachers recognize this.

Honestly, as terrible as this is, it took quite a while for me to be okay with Caitlin's grades. School was always really easy for me. I kinda grew up with the attitude that people who didn't get good grades just weren't trying, because none of it was hard. I couldn't understand how people could possibly struggle because school was so easy for me. As I got older, I realized that academics didn't come as easily to most people as it did to me. However, I kinda just assumed that I would only have kids like me. Drake is ridiculously smart. If you put us together, we should have some wicked smart kids, right? lol For a long time I thought Caitlin was just lazy, or just didn't care. It honestly took me a long time to realize that school is hard for her. Her teachers would all tell me what a great kid she is and how hard she was working. I couldn't see that because I was so fixated on her grades and how frustrated I got trying to help her with her homework because it seemed to me like she just wasn't trying. In reality, she just wasn't "getting it."

My biggest concern now is that I really am not sure what she is capable of. With Emma, I can tell her, "I want to see all 4's on your next report card. You need to do this and this and this to improve your grades next time." (4's are "exceeds grade level expectations") I know she's capable of this, so I want her to strive for it. I don't want to push Caitlin into feeling like I expect more from her than she is capable of, but I don't want to just say, "Oh, she struggles, so these grades are acceptable. She's trying hard," if she's capable of doing better. I don't want her to feel like she'll never be "good enough" or "smart enough," but I also don't want her to just be okay with getting poor grades and feel like she doesn't have to strive to do better if she's capable of doing so.

Being a mom is hard.

YAY!!!! I got my Ravelry Invite! I'm currently setting up my profile, making a list of my stash, queuing up my projects and getting ready to delve into it all! You'll probably notice that I'm going to start using tags for my posts because Ravelry supports RSS feeds and I only want my knitting posts to be grabbed for my profile, so to distinguish them from others, I'll start using tags. Anyways, if you're on Ravelry, I'm kealoha. Say Hi!

Labels: knit